


What the hell...

by CatsoftheApocalypse



Series: The One with the Supernatural Boys [6]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Saving Samandriel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-10
Updated: 2015-05-24
Packaged: 2018-03-11 13:39:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 24,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3328478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatsoftheApocalypse/pseuds/CatsoftheApocalypse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Cas enlists you and the brothers to save Samandriel, you're all game. Then Cas looses his marbles, and you have to save Samandriel FROM Cas. Needless to say, you stick around.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. ...are you thinking, Cas?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Cas enlists you and the brothers to save Samandriel, you're all game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here it is, as promised! The next multi-chapter, this time starring heaven's most adorable angel! Enjoy!

As we made our way through those dark halls, erasing angel warding as quickly as we could, they echoed with Samandriel’s screams. Each time I heard him cry out I flinched, a spasm of pain shooting through me as well. Nobody should ever be in enough pain to make them scream like that, Definitely not heaven’s most adorable angel, as Dean had called him. I hadn’t met him any more often than the brother’s had, but something, call it instinct, told me he was good from the very beginning. He hadn’t been as condescending as other angels, and he didn’t seem to hold grudges. I had heard what he had said about Cas, had seen the look on his face when he realized Cas was most likely dead. Someone so genuinely nice and forgiving should not be in a place like this. Should not suffer the methods of whatever torture master Crowley had seen fit to drag out of the darkest depths of hell. I clenched my fists, desperately wishing I could smash them into Crowley’s face instead and delight in the crunchy sound his nose would make if I broke it.  
When we finally found the door behind which those blood-curdling screams I could hardly bear hearing originated, we got rid of the last sigil and Cas joined us. Sam was trying to bust open the door after Dean had failed, while Cas was hunched against the opposite wall, looking very much afraid, positively terrified, apparently having some sort of episode. At this point, Dean turned to face me.  
“F/N, I think you should get back to the cars.” he said, his expression dead serious.  
“What?!? Are you nuts?” You’re gonna need all the help you can possibly get in there.”  
“You’re right, we will.” he admitted. “But my point is that once Cas – hopefully – gets a grip, we’ll need to have him zap Alfie out of there as quickly as possible. I think it would be good if you were there to help.”  
I frowned, but his logic was kind of sound. Cas was obviously not in top form, and Samandriel would be extremely weak as well. I didn’t like the thought of not sticking around for the big fight, but I’d rather miss the brawl and help two injured and weakened angels, especially if there might be a bunch of other demons waiting for us trying to escape, than stay, fight, and end up with one of them – or both – dead.  
“I don’t like it.” I told Dean flatly.  
“I know.”  
“Alright. I’ll go.”  
Dean nodded at my words, and with a “Good luck.” over my shoulder, I took off, running like I was trying to get away from hell. Thinking about it, I realized that wasn’t too far from the truth. By the time I exited the building my lungs were burning with every breath I took and released, and I directed my steps towards where we had parked the Impala and my Mini.  
The cars entered my line of sight, and I quickened my pace when I saw Cas appear next to the Impala, Samandriel with him. Even in his weakened state and from a slight distance, I could tell that Samandriel was frantic and trying to tell Cas something important. I was almost there when Cas drew his angel blade and made moves to stab his brother, a glassy look in his eyes.  
“Cas! Stop! What are you doing?!?” I yelled, barreling into him at full speed, effectively knocking him over and away from Samandriel, who slumped to the floor next to the car, just before the blade hit its mark.  
He must’ve been really surprised by my even trying to intervene, or I never could have gotten the jump on him like that. I straddled him to keep him pinned as best I could, with a firm hold on his hands by his sides. He stared up at me blankly, not attempting to move at all. Then blood began to trickle from one of his eyes.  
“F/N! Cas! What’s going on?” Dean called.  
I looked up to see him and Sam running towards us.  
“I don’t know.” I answered truthfully. “Cas just –“  
“I have to kill him. He came at me. It’s self-defense.” Cas suddenly uttered, leaving me floored.  
“What?” I exclaimed. “He did no such thing! Cas, what is wrong with you? We just risked our sweet bacons to save Samandriel, and now you want to kill him?”  
Dean looked at Sam, then down at me.  
“Get out of here, F/N.” he told me.  
I stared at him in confusion until he elaborated.  
“Get out. Take Alfie with you.” he instructed. “Now.”  
There was a sudden urgency in his tone that prevented any objections I otherwise might have had. I scrambled to my feet and helped a barely conscious Samandriel up and into the passenger seat of my car. Then I got into the driver’s seat myself and went off, tires screeching against the asphalt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't forget to comment! Tell me what you think. I really want to know. Really.  
> (Even you account-less ghosts! I'm talking to you as well!!!)


	2. …are we gonna do now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, you're on the run now, with heaven's most adorable angel in tow...

Samandriel was out cold next to me. I guessed there was a point of exhaustion, physically and mentally, that went beyond even an angel’s endurance. I glanced at him from the side and a cold iron fist closed around my heart at the thought of what Crowley had made him suffer. All those wounds, cuts and bruises were still showing, his powers probably at their lowest.  
I had gone for miles, zooming past trees, fields, and a few scattered houses way faster than legal, before lifting my foot off the gas and slowing down to something within speed limit. One would have expected Sam or Dean to call as soon as possible to let me know what was going on, but they didn’t. It had been hours, and I still hadn’t heard from either of them. I myself was surely not going to call them, for fear Cas might be there, find out where we were and pop by to finish what he started. I would certainly not be able to stop him again. Something was definitely off with him, and I wouldn’t risk him killing Samandriel if I could avoid it. So I waited.  
I drove until the sun began to light up the edges of the horizon and I started to get really tired. Looking for a place to stay, I pulled into the lot of the next-best motel I could find, taking a chance and hoping my angelic charge wouldn’t wake up before I returned from getting us a room. He did not.  
When I came back to my car, I crouched a bit after carefully opening the passenger door and reached in, placing my hand against his neck, the other on his cheek, turning him to face me. His eyes shot open at my touch, pupils wide, but he did not recoil.  
“Hey.” I said softly, my thumb gently stroking the spot where I could feel his pulse on his still bloody neck. “How are you feeling?”  
It was more of a rhetorical question than anything else. Not that I didn’t care how he felt. I was just pretty sure it couldn’t be great.  
“You… you’re… F/N, right?” he asked, his voice hoarse. Too much screaming.  
“Yes, that’s me.” I confirmed. “I got us a motel room. Let’s get you in there. We should probably talk.”  
He nodded and got out of the car, standing on wobbly legs. I got my duffel, locked the doors and grabbed his arm to offer some support.  
“You can lean on me if you need to.” I told him.  
His expression made it clear he wasn’t happy about it, but he knew as well as I did, probably even better, that there was nothing for it, so he let me help him into our room and sat down on one of the beds, leaning back against the pillows.  
“Samandriel?” I asked, sitting at the foot of the bed, facing him, and he opened his eyes to look at me.  
“Yes?”  
“Why haven’t you healed yourself yet? You look like you’ve been murdered twice.”  
“I can’t.” he admitted, shoulders sagging.  
“Why not?”  
“My powers are drained. All gone. Some of them may return in time, but most won’t… My grace remains, but I am cut off from heaven.”  
“I’m sorry.” I told him, not knowing what else I could have said.  
“It is no fault of yours.” he said. “But I owe you my gratitude. My life.”  
“You owe me nothing. Cas called us in to save you, so I did. I didn’t know I’d have to save you from him, though…”  
I got up and went over to where I had dropped my duffel.  
“That was… unexpected indeed.”  
“You wouldn’t happen to know what was, or is, going on with him?” I asked over my shoulder as I was rummaging through the bag, in search for supplies to patch Samandriel up.  
“I know exactly what is going on with him.”  
“Care to tell me? If you know something that can help us figure this out, I need to let Sam and Dean know when they call.”  
“I have revealed for too many secrets today already. They may want me dead, but heaven is still my home. I will not betray them any more than I already have.”  
“Suit yourself.” I said, letting the matter go for now.  
In the meantime, I had found what I needed and knelt opposite him on the bed again. When I reached for his face to have a closer look at the cut on his cheek he pulled back, eyes wide.  
“What are you doing?” he asked.  
“I told you. You look like you’ve been murdered. Twice. You can either let me have a look at you and patch you up, or wait and see if you can get an infection, since you can’t heal yourself. I’d be happy to see to your wounds, but you’d have to let me.”  
He nodded slightly to show he was okay with it, so I went to work. After I had cleaned the dried blood away from his face and neck, I soaked a wipe in disinfectant, but I hesitated with putting it to use.  
“This is going to sting.” I warned. He just nodded again. When the wipe made contact with his cut cheek, he clenched his teeth and hissed shortly.  
“Sorry.” I murmured.  
“It’s fine. I have had worse.”  
“Yeah. I guessed that much. I heard you scream. What did they do to you?”  
“Plenty of things.”  
He did not continue, and I did not push it. That was, until I moved on to the spots on his forehead and temples.  
"What are these from?"  
“The spikes.” was all he said.  
“They drove spikes into your brain???”  
I stared at him in open-mouthed shock until my phone rang. Checking the number, I found it to be one of Dean’s. Finally.  
“Excuse me.” I said to the angel and climbed off the bed to pace the room as I answered. “Dean! What took you so long?”  
Sorry, F/N. I couldn’t call earlier. We had to get back to the cabin and ward it first.” Dean explained.  
“Where’s Cas?”  
“Don’t know. Heaven, I assume. He took off just moments after you were gone. How’s Alfie doing?”  
I looked over to where Samandriel sat, watching me.  
“He’s awake and comparatively well. Out of juice, though. I was just patching him up.”  
“Now? It’s been hours, you’re slacking off, F/N.”  
“Well, pardon me! I had no way to know whether we’d be safe, and you didn’t call, so I drove until I couldn’t anymore.”  
“Alright, alright. Sorry, I was kidding. Does he know anything? About what might be wrong with Cas? Can he tell us anything at all?” Dean asked.  
“Hang on.” I told him and covered my phone with both hands as I turned face the angel, who was still eyeing me carefully. “Are you sure there isn’t anything you can let us know? No bit of intel’s too small…” I pleaded.  
He sighed warily.  
“Tell them… not to trust Naomi.  
I nodded and passed his warning on, although I wasn’t sure how much use it was to be weary of a person we didn’t even know.  
“Alright. Got it.” Dean replied then. “Will you be okay? Both of you?”  
“What are you talking about, Dean?”  
“As long as we don’t know what’s up with Cas, I think Alfie should stay as far away as possible. He’s best off with you around, if you’re willing to help him.” he explained.  
“Of course I am, but I don’t know if he’ll let me.”  
“You’ll persuade him.” I could hear him smile through the words. “Listen, I think it’s best if we keep radio silence until we figure this out.”  
“”Yeah. Sounds like a good idea.” I agreed.  
“We’ll call when it’s safe.”  
“Got it. Take care, guys.”  
“You two as well.”  
We hung up and I returned to the bed to finish my work.  
“You don’t know if I’ll let you do what?” Samandriel suddenly asked after a few minutes, looking up at me where I knelt for a better view and reach.  
“Help you. Dean suggested we stick together.”  
“I won’t let you put yourself in danger for my sake.” he objected to the idea.  
“And I don’t want to leave you alone in this. You’re unfamiliar with so many things down here. You can’t run from heaven alone.”  
“Running from heaven at all is useless. They’d find us anywhere.” he said, his gaze falling to the floor.  
“No they won’t.” I countered. “I have the same warding sigils on my ribs that Sam and Dean do. We’ll be fine.”  
“You’re willing to put your life at risk for me?” he asked, sounding astonished.  
I nodded, finished with his wounds. Thankfully none of them needed stitches. I put my supplies away, asking him a question.  
“Are you willing to learn a bit about hunting?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I figured that for the time being, it would be best to rob Samandriel of his angel-mojo. For story-purposes, you know?
> 
> And regarding him not telling you everything and spilling all the beans... I don't know if you noticed, but I always try to disturb the canonical flow as little as possible. I figured that with what information Samandriel has given up here, he doesn't seem entirely douchy, but the main story can still continue as it was in the show.
> 
>  
> 
> Keep the comments coming, my pretties!!!


	3. …happened to Alfie?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get ready for the road, and an interesting question is answered...

I had taken a short nap and Samandriel was still sleeping (Bless my little heart, he was even more adorable like that!), so I left him a note and went to find him some new clothes. Considering he was drained enough to require sleep, it was obvious he wouldn’t be able to zap his uniform clean any time soon. Also, as cute as he might look in it, it would draw way too much attention, especially if he started hunting with me.  
Luckily shops were open by now, so there was nothing preventing me from a little shopping spree, even if it was for nothing more than an essential amount of guy’s clothes. Walking by a shop that sold nothing but accessories, something in the window caught my eye and I entered with a smile on my lips.  
My next, and last, stop was a diner where I grabbed enough food for the both of us, just in case. Then I made my way back to the motel. Samandriel woke up just as I closed the door behind me.  
“You’ve been out?” he asked sleepily, sitting up.  
“Yep. I got you some clothes that aren’t colored crimson. Oh, and this.”  
I pulled a baseball cap from one of the bags I carried, after setting them down on the table, and threw it at him, hitting his shoulder with it. He picked it up from where it landed on the bed and scrutinized it closely. It was simple, black, but had two small, soft blue wings printed on the back.  
“Why did you get this?” he asked.  
“Because you look nice with a cap on. And you seemed to like the one that comes with the uniform. At least that was the impression I got at the auction.” I explained.  
A small smile lit his features at my words.  
“I did like it. Thank you. For everything.” he said.  
“Don’t mention it.” I told him with a smile of my own.  
Then something forced itself onto my mind again. Something I’d been wondering all of last night as well.  
“Would you mind telling me something?” I asked, looking at Samandriel from the corner of my eye as I unpacked the food.  
“No. Ask away.”  
“How’s Alfie doing in there?”  
The angel flinched as if I had struck him.  
“Alfie is gone.” he murmured.  
His whole posture was suddenly screaming defeat, so I walked over from where I stood and sat down opposite him, on the edge of my own bed.  
“How did that happen?” I asked softly.  
“What Crowley did to me…” he shuddered. “…it went beyond my ability to shield his soul. The wall that protected him, it crumbled to dust, and Alfie… he just gave in.”  
I swallowed.  
“So he’s pretty much dead.” I summed up.  
“You could say so.” he reaffirmed.  
I knew the look on his face. It was the same one I saw on Dean all the time. Reaching out, I placed my hand lightly on his warm cheek.  
“That’s not your fault.” I told him firmly. “Besides, I’m guessing letting an angel in like he did is kind of a wild card to get in upstairs, right?”  
“Heaven? Yes.”  
“Then at least he’s ridiculously happy now. You may not have noticed, but people working in fast food joints in many cases don’t have that great of a life. It sucks that he’s gone, but he’s in heaven. It could be worse.”  
He shrugged a little, and I was pretty sure he was leaning into my touch, be it ever so slightly. The moment was interrupted by a rude, if not loud, growl of my stomach.  
“That’s my cue.” I said, standing up. “I picked us up some food. Didn’t know if you’d be hungry now too…”  
“I am.”  
“How does that feel for you?”  
“It’s mainly unpleasant.”  
I giggled a bit. He really was adorable.  
“Come on over, then.” I said, sitting down at the table myself.  
He joined me quickly, and I handed him a wrapped burger, also shoving a box of fries to somewhere a little more within his reach.  
“Enjoy.”  
  
After our meal, I handed Samandriel a stack of clothes and sent him towards the bathroom to take a shower. It was about time for him to be presentable again.  
In the meantime, I busied myself by clearing the trash off the table, making a few calls and checking the papers to possibly find us a case, and putting the rest of the clothes I had gotten for the angel into a brand-new duffel, which made me kind of jealous. My own bag was old and worn, but it did its job. No reason to fix something that wasn’t broken.  
When Samandriel emerged from the bathroom, I needed a few moments to remember how breathing worked. The jeans and a t-shirt look really did something for him. especially if it was a dark blue shirt. I had to suppress another giggle, though, when I saw that his hair was still dripping wet, with little drops of water running down his neck. His relaxed face instantly fell at the sound.  
“Do I look odd?” he asked with a hint of worry.  
“No.” I shook my head, smiling, and walked over to him.  
Taking the towel he was still holding from his hands, I reached up to ruffle his hair dry-ish. Then I drew the fluffy fabric down one side of his neck, and the other, to wipe away the wet tracks of water there. He looked down at me, and I up at him, our eyes fixed on each other’s.  
“Not odd at all.” I told him honestly. “You look very nice. Handsome.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here I go again with the short chapters, I'm sorry, but they just play out this way!
> 
> Also, is it very obvious I have a neck-kink?
> 
> Don't forget to comment and tell me what you think!


	4. ..., seriously???

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, things just... happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the wait. I was on vacation. I didn't get as much writing done as I would have liked, to be honest, but there's this chapter, and a good portion of the second one of those Gadreel-requests I still have in the pipeline, which I will hopefully finish soon enough.

It had been two weeks since Samandriel had agreed to stick together and hunt with me. My pride as a hunter did not get in the way of admitting he was a fast learner and had, in fact, saved my hide already when a Vetala had managed to sneak up behind my back while I was punching her partner’s stupid, fanged face. He’d offed her without a second thought. His hair a mess, breathing heavily, eyes wild, stance wide, my heart beat faster at the mere thought of how he looked after a fight. Not to mention during. The way he carried himself in those situations was simply glorious. His whole body emanated a kind of readiness, daring the night to come give him her best shot.  
Frankly, it was mesmerizing. Something I would never get enough of looking at. And if I was being completely honest, it was hot. Scaldingly so. While I was able to stay focused when we were in immediate danger, it proved difficult to keep my thoughts from straying to indecency when it was over. That it had become a habit for him to exit the bathroom after a shower with his hair still soaking wet, towel in hand, to have me dry it for him while he stared down at me , did not exactly help matters. He probably thought nothing of it, but each time, I had my difficulties refraining from shoving him into the next best wall or door and ravishing his lips. All the while, there he was, not an inkling of knowledge as to what he was doing to me.  
I shook my head, resolutely telling myself to keep my mind on the issue at hand.  
“Is something the matter?” Samandriel asked from his seat next to me.  
We were in a dusky, black-painted, dimly-lit night club, frequented mostly by goth kids just one step away from being underage. Damn those places and all the movies and books romanticizing vampires. And relationships with them. I shuddered.  
“No, nothing. Just some odd thoughts.” I waved his concern off, taking a sip of my drink.  
Apparently, the nest the boys had encountered when Dean had been turned – I was immensely grateful it wasn’t permanently – was not the only, or last, one relying on persuasion and seduction to lure their meals in. Friggin’ pop-culture made it way too easy.  
Our investigation so far had led us to this place. Three victims had been abducted and were later found on the side of a nearby highway. All of them wore party-clothes and had last been seen alive here. And I didn’t even want to think about how many more there were that hadn’t been found yet, or turned. I needed to concentrate on this, not on some crazy, purely physical (because there couldn‘t be any other kind of attraction, of course not, even though he was sweet, compassionate and still very much adorable) appeal my partner held for me.  
“Look.” I pointed to a side exit, where a couple just left. “We should keep an eye on those two.”  
Samandriel nodded and we left as quickly as we could without making ourselves suspicious, yet not losing sight of the emo-vampire lookalike and the borderline depressive girl by his side.  
  
The club was some distance from anything else, probably to add to the “mysterious” feel of the night and all that crap, so it took a while for them, and us, to reach an area where we could hide, or where they could disappear. As a result, and to prevent them from noticing we were following them, we had to stay farther behind them than I would have liked. The couple rounded a corner into an alley, and we sped up our steps, but it was too late. When I peered into the darkness, they were gone. There were three doors in the alley, barely any light, lots of trash, dirt, and the occasional squeaking rat. The air was filled with the stench one would expect from such a location.  
“What now?” my companion asked, looking profoundly lost.  
“I don’t know.” I answered honestly.  
Then, after a while of standing there, trying to find something, anything, to help us out, I heard steps approach the alley, just when I saw a tiny strip of light shine around the edges of one of the three doors. That had to be the one they went through. Unfortunately, I had no time to examine the door right away. The steps were way too close. The shadows I could barely make out in the light from the nearest streetlamp outside the alley were gesturing and seemed to belong to people intent on entering the dark space. I had to come up with something to explain our presence or at least make it seem inconspicuous, and I had to be quick. Just before two people appeared in the alleyway, I grabbed the front of Samandriel’s shirt, backed myself against the nearest wall and pulled his body flush to mine, crashing our lips together. Although he was clearly shocked, momentarily freezing, he did not pull away. He was perfectly aware that might be a dangerous course of action. Two men walked pat us, up to the illuminated door, one catcalling us while the other pulled out a key and unlocked it, allowing them to enter. The alley was plunged back into darkness when the door fell shut behind them, Samandriel immediately scurrying away from me until he hit the opposite wall.  
“Why did you do that?” he asked, his voice pitched uncharacteristically high.  
I sighed before responding.  
“You know why. We had to display some kind of reason for why we’re here.” I explained, taking a step in his direction, but he pressed himself even closer to the wall.  
“But why did it have to be _that???_ ” he shrieked.  
“I’m sorry I … attacked you like that. It was the first thing that came to my mind.”  
No need to mention my, for lack of a better word, hunger for him had been plaguing me for the last two weeks. Really, this wasn’t the time to dwell on it. There was work to do.  
“Listen, can we put that aside for at least a little while and deal with this vamp-infestation first?” I asked and he nodded, albeit reluctantly. “Good. I’ll go in. Alone.”  
“But-“  
“No buts. These kinds of nests are too big for two people.”  
“And you want to go in there on your own???”  
“Yes. I’ll scout it out. Figure out how many there are. Maybe save the girl. I need you to keep watch out here. Text me if there’s more coming.”  
“What if you don’t come back?” he asked, worry pervading his tone.  
I smiled softly.  
“I’ll be fine. And should I not come out of that door in the next ten minutes, call the number listed under ICOE in your phone. Tell them where we are and to send as many and as quick as possible. Don’t come in by yourself. Please.” I knew he could get worried about me, but I didn’t want him in there without at least an idea how many vamps we were dealing with. I reached out to touch his cheek, but he cringed away, still spooked by what I had done before, so I let my hand fall back to my side. “I’ll let you know if I need more time.”  
I picked the lock I needed to and entered the building, whispering a “See you in ten.” towards Samandriel before shutting the door again. Tiptoeing through hallways, I kept my ears open. When a key was being turned in a lock to the left, I quickly pressed into a hall that went off to that side just behind me, hoping nobody would come this way. Peeking around the corned, I saw the girl from the club exit a room, wiping blood from the corner of her mouth. I waited until she was gone, knelt before the door she came out of, and pulled my lock-picking kit out again. The room that was revealed to me was miniscule and contained nothing but a ratty bed. On it lay the guy I had seen her leave with. There was a bite mark on his neck and he was delirious.  
“Shit!” I cursed and rushed to his side.  
It took me some time to get him conscious enough to get an answer on whether she had fed him her blood, which she hadn’t. Then I hurried to get him out of there.  
  
Samandriel’s eyes widened when I reappeared in the alley.  
“What’s-“ he started asking, but I interrupted him.  
“He’s not a vampire.” I informed him. “She was. She drank from him, but didn’t turn him yet, so I got him out. Let’s get him home. Ask a few questions, if possible. I couldn’t find out how many vamps there are, but maybe he knows or saw something.”  
He nodded, hurrying over to help my by supporting the guy’s weight as I searched for something to tell us where he lived, and then lugging him there along with me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Incorporated Imagine: http://dirtysupernaturalimagines.tumblr.com/post/73660923349
> 
> Tell me what you think.  
> (And once more, please don't hate me for making you wait...)


	5. … is this Naomi-chicks problem?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Killing vamps vs. saving your angel's butt...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took a little longer than expected... again...  
> Let's just assume for everyone's ease that it will always take about a week between posts from now on...

Thirty vamps. Thirty friggin’ bloodsuckers in one lousy nest. At least that was what emo-dude told us after we got him home. And his word was all we’d have to go on. After his disappearance they would be on high alert, so going back in to verify his account was not really an option. We got him into his bed, stressed he should drink a lot, and also made clear that it would be preferable for everyone, including him if he valued not being locked up in a mental institution, that he keep his mouth shut. Maybe also change the kind of clubs he frequented.  
Then we took our leave, walking back toward our motel through the frigid night air.  
“I assume you want to talk about what happened earlier?” I began, my nerves knotting up in my stomach.  
Having had time to let what I had done sink in, I was actually kind of afraid. I did not want it to influence our friendship in a negative way, but I feared that might be the case, considering his reaction in the alley.  
“I… I don’t know…” he hesitated.  
“Alright, listen. I didn’t mean to upset you. It was just a kiss. A diversion. No more. If you want, you can forget about it. I don’t want things to change between us. I like what we have.” I rambled.  
“You do?” he asked, surprised.  
“Of course I do.” I reaffirmed, and he sighed.  
“Consider it forgotten.”  
Was that disappointment I heard? I must have imagined that. Why would he be disappointed? Really, it was a ridiculous thought.  
In the meantime, we had reached our motel and I unlocked our room, letting Samandriel enter first.  
“You can have the first shower if you want.” I told him. “I’ll call for backup. We’ll have to go into that vamp nest, but we can’t do that alone. Actually… what do you think about a day off? It’s probably best to keep us working together a secret. Maybe you should stay out of this.”  
“I will not let you go in there alone again.” he protested.  
“I won’t be alone. There will be plenty of other hunters to watch my back.”  
“Are you sure about that?” he asked, still doubtful.  
“Absolutely.” I nodded. “Now, do you want that shower? ‘Cause if I beat you to it, it will take some time until you can have your turn.”  
“No, no. I’ll go now. Thank you.”  
He disappeared into the bathroom, and I dialed a number I hadn’t had to dial in a long time.  
“Hey, Garth! I need some help on a case.”  
  
I ended my conversation with Garth just as Samandriel was done in the bathroom. A bright smile lit my face when I saw him all ready and dressed for bed, hair wet and towel in hand. I hadn’t been sure whether that would still happen after our kiss, but it seemed to be a routine that stuck. He stood there awkwardly, only a little more nervous than usual, and I walked over to take the towel from him and dry his hair.  
“Did you get everything sorted?” he asked lowly, and I could feel his breath brush my cheek.  
“As far as possible. Yes. We’re going in tomorrow. Early afternoon, when they’re most likely sleeping.”  
“F/N?”  
"Yeah?"  
“Be careful.” he almost whispered, his face flooded with concern. “Please.”  
I smiled weakly, my knees wobbly under his gaze, and my brain a little fuzzy with the memory of how those lips of his, not too far now, had felt against mine.  
“Don’t worry too much, darling. I’ll be with some of the best hunters I know, aside from the Winchesters. It’ll be fine.”  
He nodded, but did not look convinced.  
“Hey.” I playfully swatted the towel across his face, causing him to scrunch up his nose in the cutest way, and my heart beat a little faster at the sight. “I mean it. Stop your worrying about my safety. I’m a fairly experienced hunter. It’s almost insulting, come to think of it…” I teased.  
A slight tinge of pink dusted his cheeks.  
“I did not mean to imply…”  
“I know.”  
  
“That’s everything.” I said, hiding a few doses of Vamptonite in my boot.  
I was going to meet the others in about an hour and a half. Just enough time to grab a light snack with my favorite angel. We found a little diner and ordered, eating in silence when our food arrived. I really wasn’t all that hungry, having had a bad feeling all day already, so I didn’t even finish my club sandwich. We left and turned our steps towards the general direction of the nest. Samandriel would leave me and go back to the motel before we would reach the meeting spot. We were using side streets and back alleys to avoid being seen, which turned out to be a mistake when we were jumped by two guys in suits.  
While one of them grappled with Samandriel, the other tried to pin me against a wall, failing miserably the moment I buried my elbow in his gut. I followed my attack with a fist to his chin, and he stumbled backwards a few steps, drawing an angel blade once he regained his balance. From the corner of my eye, I saw his partner threaten Samandriel with an identical blade. Worry briefly shot through me, but then I remembered his skill and focused on my own opponent again.  
They probably hadn’t expected Samandriel to have company, or to put up as much resistance as we did. In the end, the fight that ensued was rather brief. Both of the attacking angels wound up dead, while we remained standing, breathing heavily.  
“Let me guess…”I said, glancing over at my friend, who had a fresh bruise on his cheek. “…Naomi?”  
“I would assume so.” he sighed, turning to face me. He looked me over and gasped. “F/N, you’re hurt!”  
I looked down my body, my shirt sliced through and blood showing on my stomach.  
“Just a scratch.” I lied. Now that I knew it was there, it hurt like hell, but I wasn’t going to tell him that. “I’m fine. And there’s a bunch of vamps to eradicate.”  
“F/N, please. Don’t do this.” he begged. “You can’t fight like this.”  
I huffed out a breath, frustrated. He was right. Also, if this Naomi-person had found us here, we should probably leave town sooner rather than later.  
“Okay. You win.” I said, pulling out my phone and dialing Garth’s number. “Hey Garth. I’m really sorry, but can you tell the others I won’t make it? I gave you everything I know. They’re all clever enough to sort this out without me. Why? Sudden girl-problems. Yeah. Wouldn’t want to go in there as a walking, talking buffet. Exactly. Thank you. Keep me posted, would ya? Thanks. See ya, love.” I hung up and shoved the phone back into my pocket. “Happy?”  
“Thank you.” Samandriel said, relieved.  
“Do we need to get rid of the bodies?”  
“No, I don’t think so. Naomi will send others when they don’t return. We should leave, though.”  
“Agreed.” I looked at my left hand, holding the blade I had taken from my attacker and used to end him. “But we should hold on to their weapons. They might come in handy at some point.”  
  
Back at our motel room, I patched myself up as quickly as possible in the bathroom – I didn’t want Samandriel to know how deep the cut was – while he was already putting our stuff into the car so we could get going.  
We stopped at yet another crappy motel ten hours later. It was completely dark outside and I was exhausted, while my angel had taken a nap during the drive. It was his turn to check us in, and he led me into the room, flipping on the lights as he went. I closed the door behind me, and he turned to look at me. He blanched at what he saw.  
“F/N?” he asked carefully. “Are you okay?”  
“Sure.” I panted, swaying slightly where I stood. “Why would I not be?”  
“You’re sweating. And you’re as pale as a bed sheet. And-“ the words caught in his throat, his eyes trailing down my body to my stomach. “-you’re still bleeding!!!” he called out.  
I followed his gaze to find a large bloodstain in the shape of my wound on my formerly light green shirt.  
“Well, shit.” I deadpanned.  
Samandriel hurried to assist me in getting to one of the beds, where I sat down, leaning back against the pillows. Ignoring my protests, he pulled my shirt up, only far enough to reveal the blood-soaked bandages. In order to protect me from any further pain excessive movement might have induced he cut through them to peel them back from my skin. Beneath the gauze, the edges of the wound displayed the angry red color of a beginning infection.  
“We need to do something. Tell me what I can do.” he said, frantic.  
“Hardly anything right now, love. Give me two Paracetamol, they’re in my duffel. I’ll not go to a hospital for this.”  
“But-“  
“No. Samandriel.” I interrupted. “I won’t.”  
He frowned deeply, then reaching out, one of his hands hovering barely above my stomach.  
“Samandriel, you know you can’t heal me. You’re still out of-“ I fell silent as I felt my body suddenly tingle lightly, particularly around the cut.  
Looking down, I found the wound gone, my skin perfectly healed. Samandriel still sat there, sweat beading on his forehead. Slowly, his eyes fell shut and he keeled over, an uncoordinated heap on the bed.  
“Damn!”  
I jumped up, carefully stretching him out to allow his body actual rest. My heart threatened to stop at the thought that he might just have caused himself permanent damage for my sake. I covered him with the duvet to keep him warm and went to the bathroom to shower off any residual blood, and hopefully some of the anger that was suddenly boiling within me. Should I ever get my hands on this Naomi-person, I would make sure for her to wish she’d never seen the light of day. That she’d never have come into existence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I am very interested in what you think. Bring it on. Tell me.


	6. ... is it with that name?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff, fluff, and more fluff.

I did try to sleep, but there was no chance of me falling into slumber. Not when I didn’t know what was going on with my feathered friend. Frankly, this wasn’t the first time I watched him sleep. Only usually, he looked peaceful, content. Now, though… His breathing was shallow. He was gasping every so often… I hoped to I-didn’t-even-know-who that he would be okay.  
It wasn’t until the break of dawn that he calmed down, and his features relaxed. His breathing became deeper, and even. No more gasping. Finally, I fell into a light sleep myself. When Samandriel began to stir awake, I was already up again. I heard his sheets rustling and turned from where I was rummaging through my duffel to find him opening his eyes, and hurried over to him as he sat up.  
“Don’t ever do that again!” I mumbled into his shoulder when I had sat down next to him and pulled him into a hug.  
“What did I do?” he asked, slowly raising his hands to my back and returning the embrace.  
“You don’t remember?”  
“I do, but I’m not sure what you mean.”  
I pulled away, and his hands fell from my back while I tried to banish the relief from my face and replace it with a stern look.  
“You put yourself in danger!” I scolded. “You healed me, even though you were still practically powerless! You shouldn’t have done that!”  
“But you were-“  
“I would have pulled through. I have before. Do you know how much it hurt me to see you passed out like that? It was worse than any fever and infection could have been.” I forced back a few tears threatening to invade my eyes.  
“I could not have watched you suffer like that.” he murmured, looking down.  
I sighed, reprimanding myself for being so fierce about this.  
“I know.” I squeezed his hand on the sheets and smiled. “Thank you, Samandriel.”  
An adorable little smile appeared on his lips.  
“You are most welcome.”  
My own smile grew wider and I hugged him again before going back over to my duffel to resume my search.  
“Ha!” I cried triumphantly when I found what I had been looking for.  
“What is it?” he asked, curious.  
I turned to face him again.  
“This is something a friend gave to me a long time ago.” I said, sitting beside him.  
I handed him a bracelet made of a leather band with wooden pearls on it. Four of them were black, evenly space out on the band, and held in place by knots. The rest of them were swirled with blue and red, moving freely between the knots.  
“we have been careless, I think. My ribs are marked with warding sigils, but you don’t have that. That’s why they found us.”  
“Do you want me to leave?” he asked with wide eyes.  
“No!” I exclaimed, defensive. “No, no, that’s not it at all. I just- wait… do YOU want to leave?”  
“Not at all.” he shook his head for emphasis. “I just thought that, after yesterday, you might prefer to be rid of me.”  
“Well, you thought wrong. Now, no more talk  of going our separate ways, okay?”  
He nodded his reply.  
“Good. Where was I? Oh, yeah. I’ve been thinking last night, while you were… out of order. We need a way to shield you from their view until you ‘recharge’ enough to mojo yourself invisible to them. Is there any Enochian sigil that can do that without having to be carved into your bones? That could be, say… worn, engraved on jewelry?”  
“There is one.” He confirmed. “But… is that what this is for?” he held up the bracelet, and I nodded. “I can’t ask that of you. You can’t ruin something you hold dear for my sake.”  
“The hell I can’t. Besides, if I don’t make this little sacrifice, something else I hold far dearer might end up far more ruined.”  
Confusion clouded his face.  
“What do you mean?”  
“You, stupid.”  
“You… you hold me dear?”  
“Of course I do, don’t act so surprised! Why else would I help you?” I asked him, frowning.  
“I thought… because the Winchesters asked you to.”  
“Hey!” I reached to cup his cheek in my hand. “Sam and Dean are my friends, not my bosses. I make my own decisions. For my own reasons. You understand?”  
He nodded, and I let my hand fall back into my lap.  
“So what’s that sigil look like?” I asked.  
“It would be best if I could draw it for you.”  
“Right. Good point. Pen and paper. Hang on.”  
I went to fetch the necessary items and handed them to him, sitting down again. The symbol he drew was rather elaborate, more so than I would have liked, but it was still manageable.  
“Okay.” I frowned at the paper when he handed it back to me. “I’ll take care of this right away.” I pulled my Swiss Army Knife from the pocket of my jeans. “I think we should probably keep driving for a few days before we star looking for a new case. Get as far away from where this Naomi knows we last were as we can. Maybe go to New Mexico. I’ve always wanted to go and see Roswell. What do you say?”  
“I think it would be wise to get farther away. And if you want to see that place, I’ll be happy to accompany you.” he smiled.  
“Then it’s settled.” I stated with a wink. “How do you feel, all in all?”  
“I’m alright. Maybe a little shaky, but that is of no import.”  
“If you’re sure of that. Do you want to freshen up while I carve away? Maybe change? You’ve been in those clothes for what, thirty hours now?” I asked, taking the bracelet from his hand.  
“Yes. I would like that.”  
“Go ahead then. Bathroom is all yours.”  
I moved to the little dining table in the corner of the room to start carving and Samandriel picked up his duffel before disappearing into the bathroom, locking the door behind him.  
  
Thankfully the wooden beads on the bracelet, at least the black ones, had been soaked in color rather than just coated in paint. that made my job easier since I didn’t have to worry about chipping said paint. It took me about half an hour to carve the sigil into all four of the black beads, by which time Samandriel was all cleaned up and I went to dry his hair, shoving the bracelet and Army Knife into my pocket.  
“There you go.” I said when I was done, handing the towel back to him. “Give me your other hand, please.”  
He did as I asked, and I placed the bracelet around his wrist, securing it with a double knot.  
“You think that will work?” I asked as he inspected my handiwork.  
“It will.” he nodded with a smile. “Thank you.”  
“My pleasure, Samandriel.” I returned his smile. “Shall we get going?”  
He nodded again, we transferred our belongings back into the car and I checked us out.  
On our way out of town, we made a few stops at a gas station and a bunch of small shops to pick up supplies for our little road trip.  
  
“F/N?” he suddenly asked, sometime around dusk.  
“Problem, Samandriel?”  
I gave him a quick glance before returning my eyes to the road. We were currently looking for a place to spend the night. Another motel, a campground or something. We had actually bought a tent, just in case.  
“No, I just…” he began, but trailed off again.  
“Just spit it out, sweetheart.”  
“I was wondering why… you never call me Alfie. You sometimes use pet names for me, like sweetheart just now, but otherwise you always use my true name, never Alfie. Why is that?” he asked, looking at me, his hands fidgeting in his lap.  
“Would you prefer if I called you Alfie?” I asked back, surprised.  
“No, not at all. I like it when you use my name. I just noticed that many others found it easier to just call me Alfie, so I let them. But you never called me that, so…”  
From the corner of my eye, I thought  saw him blushing.  
“Well… I happen to like your real name, Samandriel.”  
“Truly?”  
“I have no reason to lie. I just think it’s a beautiful name, so I’m using it until you ask me to stop.”  
We fell silent again, our eyes returning to scanning either side of the road for a place to stay. A grin was fixed on Samandriel’s lips, his fingers playing with the beads on his bracelet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, let me know if and how you like it.  
> Comment away!


	7. … did you say Castiel touched?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Road Trips and Inadequacy

We were just leaving Roswell, New Mexico. We’d been there for three days, after a two day journey, and had agreed it was probably time to get to work again. On our trip, I had had a lot of fun watching Samandriel have a lot of fun. Camping had been yet another entirely new experience for him, and his almost child-like joy was a delight to see. Not even the fact that I had barely slept for those two nights because of the close proximity the small tent had required, making it necessary for me to chant a constant reminder in my head to not just roll over and make him mine, was able to lessen that joy. Roswell itself hadn’t made much of an impression. Suppose that after monsters, fairy folk and the occasional pagan god, aliens really weren’t that interesting, especially without any hard proof. Still, it had been nice to go and see with my own eyes what all the fuss was about, even if it did not make a lick of sense.  
I assumed that, had the angels still been able to track us, they wouldn’t have let that many days go by before attacking again. Consequently, I was convinced that the sigil-bracelet was working. Not that I had doubted Samandriel’s judgment. It was my carving skills I had been unsure about. But so far, all was well in that department.  
Despite his sheer joy and constant smiles the days before, I had begun to worry about Samandriel . In the last twenty-four hours, he had been quiet and withdrawn. He had still smiled, but it seemed forced, almost melancholy. Like he acknowledged that something should make him smile, and he wanted to, but just couldn’t find it in himself to be actually happy about it. Every now and then, I caught him staring at me, his right hand closed around the bracelet on his left wrist, his forehead creased into a frown. When he noticed me looking back at him, he’d quickly avert his eyes. I had already let this go on for a day, but now I’d had enough.  
“Samandriel?” I began, keeping my eyes on the road.  
“Yes?”  
“What’s wrong?”  
“I don’t –“  
“Don’t even try that with me.” I interrupted. “You’ve been quiet for the last day. More so than usual. And you’ve been looking at me differently than before. Did I do something that upset you?”  
“No! Anything but that.”  
“Then please tell me what is going on.”  
“I…” he hesitated.  
“Go on. Tell me. Please. Whatever it is, just spit it out.”  
“I feel useless.” he quickly said.  
“What? Why would you feel useless? And why now? We haven’t even been hunting for the last five days.” I rambled, astonished.  
It might not be a great idea, hunting alone, but I had been good at it. And when I suspected a case to be more than I could handle on my own, I never hesitated to ask for help. Still, everything had been just that much easier since Samandriel was around, and it hadn’t even been a month. He was of so much help to me, not to mention great company, that I already had a hard time thinking he might have to, or worse, want to, leave at some point. Another reason to repress the feelings for him that kept bubbling up inside me at the most inopportune moments. How he could ever think he was useless was beyond me.  
“Exactly. But since we decided to go back to… normal, I guess… it has been weighing on my mind how little assistance I can truly offer. I don’t know the first thing about hunting, and I can not even heal you if you get injured again. That last time I did, it was the last of my… power.”  
“Wait…” my mind momentarily shifted, away from his feelings of inadequacy. “… does that mean you’re entirely human now?”  
“No.” he sighed. “not quite. I might not have expressed myself correctly there. There is still a flicker of it within me, and my grace, of course, but I can not access it anymore. There’s nothing I can do with it. It is too little.”  
“But won’t you… recharge again?”  
“At this point? Not anymore. I would, if I was not cut off from Heaven, as I am.”  
“Okay.” I acknowledged. “Let’s get back to that at some point. For now, I want to tell you something, and you better listen very, very well. Understand?”  
He nodded.  
“You might be a lot of things to me-“ Like appealing, delicious, funny, cute, adorable, the dream of my sleepless nights, the reason for all my recent cold showers. “-but ‘useless’ is not one of them. You’re remarkably good at hunting, especially considering you’ve only been doing it for such a short time. And what you don’t know about it yet, you can learn. You’re a quick study. And before we met, I didn’t have an angel to heal me when a hunt went sour either. At least not when I wasn’t with the Winchesters, which was most of the time. So you really don’t need to worry about that. If you were nothing more than dead weight, I wouldn’t keep you around. I’d be dead now, if it wasn’t for you. That Vetala two weeks back had me. And you saved me back then. Without your angel-mojo.”  
“But-“  
“No buts. You’re not useless. You’re great. You’re my friend, and I love… your company.” Gee, I prayed he didn’t notice how I faltered right there. “Do we understand each other?”  
“Yes.” he nodded, and from the corner of m eye I saw a little smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.  
“What’s funny all of a sudden?”  
“I like how fierce you sometimes get. It almost makes me hope…”  
“Hope what?” I asked, curious.  
“Nothing of importance.” he backpedalled and looked away, blushing.  
I frowned. Part of me really wanted to know what he had been about to say, but I didn’t want to push it. At least he seemed to believe me that he wasn’t useless, so I let him be, focusing back on the road.  
  
In contrast to our journey towards Roswell, we found a motel to stay in the first night of driving away from it. I took the first shower, Samandriel entering the bathroom right after I was done. As he got ready for the night, I was trying to figure out how to start the conversation I wanted to have with him.  
After his revelation and my declaring how and why he was wrong, it had been a quiet day’s drive. Not in the awkward way the day before had been quiet, but it had still given us both plenty of time to think, and a plan – of sorts – had formed in my mind. I just needed a way to go about suggesting it.  
When he exited the bathroom and I went over to him for the usual procedure, I decided to just jump into the cold water. Figuratively. His hair semi-dry and pointing in every possible and impossible direction, I hung the towel over the bathroom’s door handle instead of handing it back to him as I normally did. He looked down at me, confused, and I took his hand, pulling him to follow me.  
“Come, sit with me, I have something we should discuss.”  
He nodded silently, and we sat cross-legged on one of the beds, facing each other.  
“What is it?” he asked, sounding slightly worried.  
I took a deep breath before I began.  
“You said in the car this morning, that one of the reasons you felt useless was that you wouldn’t be able to heal me if I got injured.” He nodded again, looking more confused than ever. I kept holding his hand, clasped between both of my own. “You miss you powers, right? Even apart from that?” Another nod, and a frown. “Well, I remember something Dean told me about. There was… this one time, Cas powered up by… touching Bobby’s soul. Would something like that help you? Give you enough juice so the rest would recharge in its own time?” I stopped there to wait for a reply, but none came. “Samandriel?” Still nothing. He just sat there, staring at me, his features frozen in shock. “Come on, sweetheart, say something.” I pleaded.  
He swallowed hard before speaking.  
“Castiel did that?”  
“Yes. You act like it never happens.”  
“It doesn’t.”  
“What?”  
“While it is not exactly forbidden for an angel to touch a living humans soul, it is still a great taboo. It is not even talked about among us.”  
That was news to me, but it didn’t answer my question.  
“Would it help?”  
“F/N…”  
“please, just answer the question.” I insisted.  
“It would, but that does not matter. In any case, nobody is going to volunteer for-“  
“I do.”  
Again, he failed to reply, too shocked by what I had said. This time, I waited until he found his voice on his own.  
“No.” he simply stated.  
“Samandriel, I-“  
“No.” he repeated.  
“But-“  
“It’s dangerous.”  
“I know that, but-“  
“You could die.”  
“Okay, I see your point. Now let me make mine. Please?”  
He just nodded and waited. I gave his hand a little squeeze.  
“I know it would be dangerous. And that it would hurt. But do you think it’s easy for me to see you sad because you think you’re not contributing enough? Let me tell you, it’s not. And if this can help you power up, I’m willing to risk it. I’m willing to face the danger and the pain. It may be stupid, but I am. And I know I don’t need to worry about dying. I won’t.”  
“How do you know that?” he asked, his voice full of doubt.  
“Because I know you. And I trust you. Completely. You won’t cause me to explode.” I kept going in my head, after I had made my case. ‘Not because you touch my soul. Due to repressed feelings, maybe.’  
“Why?”  
“You’re good.”  
Two words. Plain and simple. Yet the most powerful ones I could possibly have chosen at that moment.  
“You think so?”  
“I know it. Now, are we doing this, or what?”  
“Are you absolutely certain?” And do you really trust me this much?”  
“Yes.”  
“Then lean back, please.”  
I scooted back until I nearly sat on the pillows. Then I reached behind me to rearrange them so I could comfortably lean against the pillows and the headboard. When Dean had retold the story, he said that Cas had given Bobby a leather belt to bite down on, so I had pulled my second belt out of my duffel as a precaution. It lay on the bed next to me and I reached for it while Samandriel came closer.  
“Hold my hand while you do it?” I asked nervously.  
He placed the hand he wore the bracelet on in mine as I took the belt between my teeth. With his free hand, he reached out and laid it against my stomach, just below my ribs.  
“One last time.” he said, his soft eyes fixed on mine. “Are you sure?”  
I nodded wordlessly, he took a breath, and the pain began.  
White-hot irons were piercing through me, or so it felt, and I could barely refrain from wincing. Instead, I bit down harder on the leather and squeezed his hand in mine. For some reason, although my whole body was in agony, the burning in my temples was the worst of it.  
I could feel every one of his fingers, not within my physical form, but in my very essence, and somewhere beyond all the pain, the connection felt wonderful. I focused on that, but soon a blinding light began to radiate from Samandriel, his eyes in particular, growing brighter and brighter, and I had to close my own to protect them.  
Then it was over.  
Both of Samandriel’s hands were gone and I felt the mattress shift as he moved away from me. The belt fell from my mouth and I was breathing heavily. Slowly, I forced my eyes open and found the angel sitting on the far end of the bed.  
“Hey.” I breathed, my voice a little weak and shaky. “I’m fine. See? Told you you wouldn’t kill me. Come on. Smile.”  
“I don’t think I can right now.”  
“Then at least do me a favor. Two, actually.”  
“Anything you wish.”  
“Bring me the Aspirin bottle and a glass of water, please.”  
He complied and I took two of the pills, chugging down the water in only three gulps. Hopefully that would be enough to battle the searing headache the ordeal had left me with.  
“Your second request?” he prompted quietly.  
“Oh, right. I… I’m exhausted, obviously. Feel like I’m gonna sleep for days. And I’m freezing.  
“Would you like me to turn on the heating?”  
“No, its… I feel like I need a more human-“ ‘Or angelic…’, I thought to myself. “-heat source. Close proximity. Share the bed with me tonight?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I request thou letst me know what thou art thinking, oh reader!  
> (Translation: Comment, bitches! (No offense.))


	8. … was that?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New possibilities unfold...

Nothing extraordinarily physical happened that night. I was too drained to even think about it, and even if he had wanted it, Samandriel would probably have been too shy. As it was, he hadn’t even replied to my question, staring of to the side instead, until I was just about to tell him it was okay if he wanted his own space. I had already opened my mouth to utter the words when he nodded and slipped between the sheets with me. It was nice. Peaceful. Although the room wasn’t that cold, exhaustion was taking its toll and had me shiver, causing me to ask this favor of him in the first place. Once he’d settled in and switched the light off, I had scooted a little closer to him as quietly as possible to allow more of the heat his body radiated to seep into mine. He didn’t say anything before we fell asleep, and neither did I.  
  
When I woke up in the morning, I found myself snuggled up against Samandriel’s side, my head on the pillow right next to his, a hand resting on his chest. I blinked a few times to make sure I was awake. I had never been this close to him when he wasn’t directly aware of it, so I took my time just looking at him in close-up. They way his chest moved under my hand with every intake and release of breath. The small number of freckles dotted here and there on his cheeks and nose. The way his lips were parted ever so slightly. I was just thinking about brushing back a stray lock of hair from his face when he moved. He didn’t seem to wake up just yet, but his arm wound around my shoulders, pulling me closer. Content that at least his subconscious didn’t mind the proximity, I nuzzled his neck and drifted off into a light doze again.  
  
It was only another hour of sleep, but I felt more rested than I had in months. This time around, Samandriel woke as well, and part of me feared he might shy away in shock, or disgust, or whatever had been the reason for his reaction after I had kissed him in the alley. He, however, did the complete opposite, which stunned me completely.  
His hold on me tightened and a lazy smile crept over his face as he looked at me.  
“Good morning.” he murmured.  
“Morning.” I replied, straining my neck to meet his gaze.  
“How do you feel?”  
“Peachy.”  
“Are you sure? You can tell me if there is anything-“  
“Samandriel, stop.” I interrupted and raised my head to better look at him. “I’m fine. Your concern is endearing, but I’m alright. I was exhausted and had a terrible headache, but that’s gone. You don’t have to worry.”  
“You slept well, then?” he asked, his eyes unable to decide whether to rest on me or a far corner of the room.  
“I did. And you? I thought maybe now that you have more juice – you do, don’t you?” I asked, waiting for a nodded confirmation before I continued. “-that you might not need sleep anymore.”  
“Technically, I don’t.”  
“Excuse me?”  
“Well, the need to sleep is like the need to eat. We override it when we take a vessel.” he explained.  
“Like an off-switch?”  
“So to say. But that does not mean we can not switch it on again as well. I believe I got used to the rhythm it gives a day.”  
“So you’ll continue to sleep at night? Eating, too?”  
“Maybe. I won’t be hungry, but it can’t hurt to keep you company.” he said, smiling softly.  
“No, I don’t suppose it can.”  
I smiled back before my features slipped into a frown.  
“What is it?” Samandriel asked worriedly.  
“I was just wondering… Why did I have such a massive headache after you touched my soul? My temples felt like they were on fire while you did, and after, there was this pounding. It kind of sucked. Bad.”  
He looked sorry for my pain, but there was also a hint of a smile still showing on his lips.  
“It means you’re a good person.” he said.  
“How so?”  
“Well, your soul, while in your body, has a direct link to your brain, and your conscience within it. When the soul is disturbed, say, touched… it affects the conscience as well. The better the person, the more use they make of their conscience, the stronger the soul’s link to it. And the more pain it will cause. I would never wish you to hurt like that, but the fact that you did says a lot about you.”  
I was speechless. I never thought I was a particularly bad person, but I certainly was no saint either. So, when an angel – this one in particular – sang such praises about me, I seriously didn’t know what to say. To disguise that my face turned red in embarrassment, I hid it in the crook of his neck again. He didn’t seem to mind. As it really sank in, how close we were, how he didn’t recoil, how he even seemed to be pulling me closer still, I began to wonder what had changed. What it was that has pushed down the barrier that had previously seemed to make him hold back. Not allow true attachment, let alone physical display thereof. Could it have been that he touched my soul? That something so… personal just changed everything? Even for an angel? How was I supposed to find out? I couldn’t just ask him. Or could I? Ever?  
I pulled away from him with a heavy sigh. Certainly not right now.  
“We should get ready.” I stated. “I think I’ll call Garth, see if he has anything close by that might be a case. You good with that?”  
“Yes, of course.” Samandriel nodded.  
  
The town Garth sent us to was about a day’s drive from where we had been when I  called him. He hadn’t had a clue what it was, but was pretty sure there was a case there. We’d been around for a week now, and we still weren’t sure what was after that teenage girl. After introducing ourselves as feds, we’d been snooping around as per hunter routine, but nothing substantial had some up yet. When her dad had mentioned they were thinking about getting out of town for a few days to visit family, I had encouraged that. We could use the opportunity to thoroughly search the house without anyone looking over our shoulder. It had not occurred before, since daddy worked from home. So now, thirty minutes after they had left, we snuck in to get ourselves a nice, long look.  
What I didn’t think of was that they might forget something, so when I heard their car pull back up the driveway, I motioned for Samandriel to follow me upstairs. The second door I hurriedly checked led to a seemingly unused room, so I pulled him in and closed the door. To be on the safe side, I hurried to open the door to a built-n closet and shoved him through, entering the dark space after him.  
There appeared to be a little commotion in the foyer as the father was nagging, the mother announced she would fetch another bottle of water for the road and the girl’s steps were heard ascending the stairs and running towards her room to grab the laptop she seemed to have forgotten.  
  
Both our heads were still turned towards the closet door, ears perked up and listening. Samandriel’s hands were on my hips as I was straddling his lap. There were no more sounds coming from anywhere in the house other than the static hum of electronics on stand-by.  
“I think they’re gone.” the angel said, whispering in spite of his words, his breath hot on my neck.  
I turned my head, and our eyes locked. Only now did I notice how close we were. The closest we had been, physically, since the morning after he touched my soul, our after-shower routine not taken into account. His hands on my body. My knees to his left and right. Our chests mere inches apart. My arms hooked over his shoulders. As the realization hit me, my knees gave way and my body met his as I crumbled down. He gasped at the contact, his cobalt eyes wide.  
“They are.” I breathed against his lips when I heard three car doors slam shut.  
When I tried to move and get off him, a jolt of pleasure ran through me at the pressure on my core. He must have felt something similar, judging by the way his fingers tightened on my flesh. I rolled my hips against his, transfixed, his hands flexed, and he sucked in a sharp breath, his pupils dilating. A sigh escaped my lips and I tangled my hands in his hair as I felt him harden beneath me, earning a moan from him as I moved again. Part of me knew this probably shouldn’t be happening. Here I was, grinding, basically dry-humping, an Angel of the Lord in a dark closet, but neither of us could find the strength, or even the will, to stop.  
His lips were parted, his hands still on my hips, thumbs rubbing circles on the skin just above the edge of my jeans as I moved, his physical excitement now plain to me. He began slowly, hesitantly, to move in time with me, lifting his lower body from the ground slightly to create more pressure and friction against mine, making it my turn to moan.  
Our eyes were still fixed on each others. Both our breathing heavy. Movements speeding up, bit by bit. I moved one of my hands from his hair, gently skimming his smooth neck with my fingertips, at a loss for words, gasping when he moved against me once more, the coils in my body rapidly winding tighter.  
The look in his eyes was one of utter amazement. And desire. And lust. Pure instinctual need was what drove him to move beneath me in just the right way, pleasing to me as well as him. The color of his eyes was mesmerizing, clear even with only the narrowest ring of blue visible around his wide-blown pupils. It was truly beautiful. So much so that it even registered through the haze of lust clouding my mind.  
Suddenly, his hands grabbed me tight, fingers digging into my flesh, keeping my hips still where they were, pressed closely against his, and I could see the release and wonder in his eyes, a shudder running through his body. The slightly different kind of friction his fulfillment created was enough to push me over the edge as well, my nails leaving marks where they scratched at his skin.  
We held that position for a while longer. After watching each other come undone like that, it was almost as satisfying to see one another’s breathing slowly return to normal. The trance we were in shattered to bits when we both noticed my phone vibrating in my pocket.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's an Imagine on Dirty Supernatural Imagines for this chapter:  
> http://dirtysupernaturalimagines.tumblr.com/post/99940220368/imagine-grinding-and-dry-humping-samandriel-while  
> I purposely put it into the end-of-chapter-notes, because SPOILERS, Sweety!
> 
> Waiting for those comment-owls. My window is open.


	9. … do you want?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You come out of the closet.

“What?!” I snapped, answering my phone after I had hurried to get out of that closet, away from the compromising position. “No, Garth.” My voice was icy. “No, I can’t. I’m still working on the other one you gave me… Well, then why don’t you do it yourself next time???” I sighed it the apologetic note to his next words and raked a hand through my hair. “I’m sorry, Garth, I didn’t mean to snap at you. I’m just… busy. The family here isn’t too cooperative. I think they’re holding something back. I didn’t get a chance to search the house so far, but they’re gone to visit some cousin now, so I’m here while they are not. Yes, I know. Why don’t you ask Rob? He’s good with that kind of stuff. Yes. Bye Garth. And sorry again.”  
I hung up with another sigh and turned around. Samandriel just stood there awkwardly, his eyes a little glassy. What had I done? What on earth had I been thinking? Oh, right, I hadn’t.  
“F/N…” he whispered, and I flinched.  
I didn’t want to hear this. Didn’t want him to tell me how he wanted me to stay as far away from him as possible. Never touch him again. How what had just transpired was a fluke. I knew it was, I didn’t need to hear him say it, too.  
“Let’s get to searching before the neighbors notice anything.” I stammered with a nervous laugh.  
He opened his mouth to say something, but then decided against it and gave a tiny nod instead.  
“I’ll take upstairs, you have a look downstairs.” I instructed.  
He nodded again and left the room to start searching in the sitting room downstairs. I stayed where I was and looked around myself, forcing the earlier occurrences to the back of my mind for the time being.  
The room still seemed to be unused, but it wasn’t empty. It looked like a little kid’s room that hadn’t been touched in years, except for occasional cleaning. A thin layer of dust covered the surfaces, so the last time that happened must have been a while ago. I frowned. They had not mentioned a second child. Neither had any of the neighbors we’d talked to. Could it really be that we’d just happened to stumble into the right room? I decided to go downstairs and check in with Samandriel to see what he thought.  
  
“Hey.” I addressed him quietly as I entered the sitting room.  
He placed the papers he was looking through back into the sideboard’s drawer and turned to face me.  
“F/N. I would like to-“  
“Did you find anything?” I interrupted.  
He looked disappointed, but nodded.  
“I have. There seems to have been a second child in this family at one point.” he said, turning back to the papers he had dropped. He pulled a sheet out of the stack and handed it to me.  
“Police report?” I mumbled. It was a copy, but still.  
“Yes. The young son of the family was abducted and found dead three days later in the nearby stream.”  
“Does it say by whom?”  
“His sister.”  
“Why do people always think it’s a good idea to hold stuff like this back?” I grumbled and pulled out my phone, dialed the family’s father’s number and put the call on speaker.  
It was the mother who answered. The father himself was probably driving.  
“Yes?”  
“Mrs. Everhardt, this is Agent Wainwright. Agent Buckley is with me, you’re on speaker.”  
“What can we do for you?” she asked.  
“Madam, I do not mean to drag up unpleasant memories, but we’d like to ask if there is a particular reason you withheld information from us?”  
“What do you mean?”  
“You all avoided telling us that you had a son who was killed two years ago.”  
There was a silence of a few moments before she spoke again, and I did not pressure her. This surely was hard enough on her without me being a bitch about it.  
“How did you find out about that?” she asked, her voice weak.  
“We are thorough. Let me assure you we are very sorry for your loss. I… I understand your daughter was the one who found your son?”  
“She did.”  
“May I please speak to her?”  
“Is that really necessary?”  
“I would not ask if it was not.” It was true. I had a suspicion, and to confirm it, I needed to talk to the girl again. “I will only ask her a few questions. Nothing too stressful, I promise.”  
She sighed wearily before discussing my request with her husband. He did not appear to be too happy about it, but agreed eventually.  
“Hi, Christine.” I said when she took the phone from her mother. “I would like to ask you a few things…”  
  
My hunch had turned out to be correct. Two months ago, Christine had met her now-boyfriend. That was about the time when the strange incidents around her had begun. It took us three days to find a decent medium close by, have them call for the little boy’s spirit and ask him what was going down. What he was trying to protect his sister from. What kind of monster Christine’s boyfriend was. Thing was, he didn’t know. He only knew that he had been in some kind of trance the whole time between his abduction and death. He’d disappeared, faded away to where he belonged, after we had assured him we would see to it that his sister and parents were safe.  
Finding out the boyfriend was a Djinn had been a surprise. Well, technically, he was only half a Djinn, since his father had been human. That was probably also why his touch had only put the boy into a trance, without causing hallucinations. Why he hadn’t tried to kill Christine as well – yet – and had even cozied up to her he wouldn’t reveal after we tracked him down. His mother had been hunted down years ago, so he was all alone.  
He may not have had the full abilities of a not mixed-blooded Djinn, but he could still die like one, which was what he ended up doing when I twisted my lamb-blood coated silver knife between his ribs. We disposed of the body appropriately and went back to our motel room to clean up and then get out of town before the Everhardt family returned from their little trip, leaving a report with the police station to explain why Christine wouldn’t be bothered again without mentioning ghosts and Aladdin’s magical lamp.  
“F/N, can we talk?” Samandriel asked from behind me as I dumped my gun and knife on the table.  
I drew in a deep breath and flexed my hands before turning around. Over the last three days, we had been too busy for him to insist on having this conversation, but now there didn’t seem to be a way around it anymore. I was terrified of what he might say, but I was determined to be a man – well, a woman – about it. Still, my vocal chords did not seem to wholly agree with me in that regard.  
“What about?” I asked as innocently as possible.  
“I believe you know.” he mumbled, looking at the floor.  
“I do. But what would you like me to say? That I’m sorry? That I wish it had never happened? That I’d never pushed you into that damn closet?”  
His eyes instantly snapped up at my words, locking with mine.  
“Is that how you feel about what happened?”  
“It doesn’t matter what I think or how I feel about it.”  
“Why are you saying that?” he asked, looking adorably confused.  
“Because all my actions accomplished was to make things awkward between us. We barely talked since that day. I mean, about things other than the Djinn and what happened. You probably even feel violated.”  
Over the past 72 hours, I had managed to convince myself that the way he’d gazed at me during the… incident… had at least been enhanced by my imagination, if it had not even been a figment of it entirely.  
“I do not.”  
“Pardon?” I was sure I had misheard him.  
“Please, F/N. Let me explain. Give me a few moments to speak, without interruption, and should you not like what you hear, I promise I will leave you be.”  
“Samandriel, I-“  
“Please.” he just said once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter and the next were actually supposed to be one, but they ended up being too long, so I clipped them apart. The next one will be posted tomorrow. Hey, two chapters on two days in row. Consider it an Easter treat!
> 
> Don't forget to leave a comment, so I know what you think.


	10. ... can I say?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Samandriel talks more in one go than ever before.  
> Also, smooches.

I nodded, and we moved from where we stood in the middle of the room, to sit on our respective beds. Neither of us seemed to be capable of looking at the other at that moment, both staring at our hands fidgeting in our laps instead.  
  
“Do you remember the night you kissed me in the alley?” I nodded that I did. “After you had freed that man and we had brought him home, you said you did not want things to change between us. That saddened me, but I agreed to forget about it, because due to what you said I thought that that kiss did not mean anything to you.” I opened my mouth to object to that notion, but remembered my promise to let him talk without interruption, so I sealed my lips again, instead lifting my eyes to study his expression as he spoke. “Not in the way kisses are supposed to carry meaning, at least. You may have guessed as much, but… I have never been in that kind of contact with anybody before I met you. But I know that there is always supposed to be some sort of emotion behind a kiss at any given moment. When you… I thought that it was truly only for hiding the actual reason for our presence there. That is why I reacted the way I did. At that point, my feelings for you had already grown to a degree where I could not bear the thought of you rejecting me if you found out. But since then, so many things have happened, you did so many things for me, and said so much good about me… I was beginning to hope that… that maybe, just maybe… you could feel something, be it ever so small, remotely similar to what I feel for you. Then we went to that house, and what happened… It was so intense. So many emotions… such desire… The feeling of being so close to you, and in that way… When you refused to talk about it afterwards, what little hope I had crumbled, and I admit I was very disappointed. But I can not bear this state of not knowing anymore. So, I beg of you… Tell me now. Be it that you feel the same, or that you never want to see me again. I only need to know.”  
  
There was a long, complete silence while I contemplated my angel’s words. There was no way around it, not anymore. He was my angel. Mine, and nobody else’s. In the utter lack of sound his speech had left behind, I was just struggling to find the words to tell him that. I cleared my throat to speak.  
“Samandriel?” I said, my voice weak.  
He lifted his eyes from the floor to meet mine.  
“Yes?” he asked cautiously, ready for rejection.  
“May I come over to sit by your side?”  
“Of course.”  
It took me only a few seconds to do just that, but it felt like forever. I took the additional liberty of holding his hand, the one with the bracelet I had given him, in mine. Then I took a deep breath.  
“You need not have hoped.” I told him lowly, and he seemed to collapse in on himself.  
I laid my free hand against his cheek and forced him to turn his face towards me so he looked at me once more.  
“You need not have hoped, because you could have had more than mere hope.” I continued.  
Some of that light that always seemed to radiate from him whenever he was happy, or hopeful, or content, returned to his eyes, and I leaned my forehead against his. I was not done talking yet.  
“You’re right about kisses and emotions, you know? And while the main reason why I kissed you in that alley was so that we wouldn’t get busted, I also did it for another reason. I did it because I wanted to.”  
“But then… if that is true, why did you say you did not want things to change between us?” he asked.  
“Because you did not seem interested in me in that way. Also, I wouldn’t have wanted you to think I expected anything you were not willing to give. I still don’t.”  
“I’m not sure I understand you entirely.” he noted.  
I was more than happy to elaborate.  
“What exactly is unclear?”  
“How you feel about me.”  
I chuckled. Before I formed a reply, I placed my hand on his chest, just over his heart, which was beating just a bit quicker than usual.  
“Those feelings you say you have for me…” I whispered, a smile on my lips.  
“Yes?”  
“I return them. Absolutely. The only reason I never said anything before-“  
He interrupted me in the best way possible. His lips met mine, inexperienced, yet soft. Comfortable. Sweet. It was a polar opposite to the harsh and demanding kiss we had shared in that alley, and I wanted it to last forever. But, alas, a girl has to breathe every now and then, so we had to break apart, whether I liked it or not.  
“Mmmm…” I sighed after we separated, leaning our foreheads together again.  
“What?” he questioned, only the slightest bit nervous.  
“Nothing. But for a guy who hasn’t really done this before, that was pretty damn good.” I said with a smile, pecking his lips again when he blushed. “So… I take it that you enjoyed yourself? At the Everhardt’s, I mean?”  
He nodded.  
“Did… did you?” he asked, his words hesitant.  
“Very much.” I squeezed his hand, which I still held in mine, a little. “I’d like to do that – and more – again some time.” I went on to point out, and it stung, but only a little, when his whole body went rigid.  
“I… I don’t know…” he stammered.  
“Hey… it’s okay if you don’t want that.” I told him.  
I wanted him, physically as well as emotionally, but that could wait. I knew now that he was mine, and that was enough for the moment. Of course he would want and need to figure some things out. Between being tortured for information, being almost killed by one’s own brother, cast out from home and hunted by one’s family… I would need to sort shit out first, too.  
“Not yet.” he specified.  
“Okay. Not yet.”  
We shared another kiss, sweet and full of promises, and this time he was the one who pulled away, to ask a question.  
“Do we have to leave tonight?”  
“No. We can wait ‘till tomorrow.”  
“I would like that. And maybe…” he trailed off.  
“Maybe what?” I prompted, trying to sound encouraging.  
“Maybe we could sleep… the way we did after you let me…” again, he failed to finish the sentence.  
“After I let you do what? Touch my soul?” I guessed, and he nodded. “Samandriel, is this you trying to ask whether we can sleep in the same bed?” I enquired wit a chuckle.  
“Yes.” he confirmed, his adorable face bright red.  
Smiling, I touched my lips to his once more before answering.  
“We can.” I murmured against his lips. “Tonight, and every other night from now on.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed your Easter treat, see you next chapter!
> 
> Leave a comment. You know how instant gratification works. (Constructive criticism is much appreciated, too, though.)


	11. … are we going to wear?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nightmares, fluff, and two surprises.

Even a month after we both spoke our minds, my heart still nearly leapt out of my chest in joy when I woke up in the morning, next to Samandriel, his arms around me, wrapped into the same blanket, my true source of comfort his proximity and the warmth his body radiated.  
Most nights, I slept particularly well like that, but every now and then, not even my angel’s presence could prevent the nightmares every hunter had, some worse than others. I jolted awake, my fingers scrunching up the shirt Samandriel wore to bed, a high-pitched yelp escaping my mouth as my eyes shot open. He woke as well, immediately pulling me closer to ease my distressed mind.  
“Nightmare?” he asked drowsily, stroking my hair as my head came to rest on his chest.  
“Same old.” I whispered in reply.  
I didn’t really want to talk about them when these dreams haunted me, but it felt good to know that I could, should I so desire. My eyes followed my fingertips as they drew lazy patterns on his stomach and he continued to weave his fingers through my hair, knowing me well enough to interpret my silence correctly. When my heart rate was back in normal parameters, I began to wonder if he could actually relate to how I felt about my occasional bad dreams.  
“Do you ever have nightmares?” I asked innocently.  
“I don’t dream.” he stated plainly.  
I shifted so I could see his face.  
“At all?” He nodded silently. “Why not?”  
“I think it’s because of what I am.”  
“You mean that you don’t dream because you’re an angel?”  
“Yes. As I told you, I do not actually require sleep anymore since you… helped me out. And even before, I think my remaining grace wouldn’t allow dreams, be they good or bad. Why do you ask?”  
“I was just wondering… What Crowley put you through… One would think it only natural to have nightmares after something like that…”  
“Hm. I suppose a human would. But seeing how I do not dream at all, these experiences don’t haunt my sleep.”  
I leaned up on my elbows, narrowing my eyes. He was avoiding something. I could feel it. He let his fingers trail over my shoulder and down my arm as he looked up at me from the pillow.  
“But they’re haunting you at other times?” I asked.  
Samandriel nodded, albeit reluctantly.  
“Why didn’t you say anything?”  
“Because there is nothing to be done about it. These memories are always with me. And the pain. You can’t make that disappear, just like I can’t free you of your nightmares.”  
“But I can be there for you when it happens. Hold you like you hold me when I wake up frightened.”  
“It’s too much. It always happens. Every time I close my eyes, I remember.” he refused.  
I leaned down to whisper a kiss onto his lips.  
“Then I guess I’ll just hold you as often as I can.” I said with a soft smile.  
He gave me a loving smile of his own in return, and I kissed him again. His hands on my back, he pulled me in closer and the kiss deepened.  
Our physical relationship had not developed nearly as far as its emotional counterpart in the past four and a half weeks. I still wanted him that way, but I also felt how reluctant he still was in that regard. There were passionate kisses while we held each other close, soft touches while we couldn’t, but nothing more. I didn’t want to force him into anything he wasn’t comfortable with, but I figured a little push in the right direction couldn’t hurt. Thankfully, today might provide a nice opportunity for such a push. Nothing too forward, just a little bit of teasing.  
“Come on.” I said lowly, breaking the kiss and pushing away from him. “We have some shopping to do.”  
  
“Love, this is a fancy store, I think it would be good if you took the cap off.” I murmured while we waited for assistance.  
Samandriel reached up and took the cap I had bought for him on the first day off his head. He wore it every day when we were not posing as Feds or something else that would clash with it. Every time he reached for it before we left our motel of the day, it made me smile.  
We were at the mall closest to our current abode. The shop sold suits, tuxedos and whatever else a man could possibly need to look as dapper as possible. While Samandriel had a very nice suit that fit him well and was perfect when he needed to look all Federal Agent, it would not suffice for tonight.  
The case we were currently on was easy and difficult at the same time. A cursed painting – there were just too damn many of those – was being sold off at an auction. We’d been around since shortly after the last owner had died, but had had no chance so far to get rid of the bloody thing, since it was all locked up at the auction house, set to be sold tonight. Gala-style event. Invitation only. But we were in luck. A wealthy local, friend to the last victim was dabbling in supernatural affairs and had found out what we did after becoming suspicious of the thing. He had not only managed to get us invited to the auction, he was also going to bid on the painting, however high it might go, and help us destroy it. But we needed to look our part, which meant a tuxedo for Samandriel and a classy dress for me.  
“What can I do for you two?” an, admittedly attractive, sales assistant asked with a friendly smile.  
After explaining what we needed, I kissed Samandriel’s cheek and took my leave to go find a dress for myself.  
“You’re not staying?” he asked, surprised.  
“No, sweetheart. You know I need a dress as well. We’ll meet back here in two hours.”  
“But-“  
“Please?” I asked, giving him my best puppy eyes. “I think you’re in very capable hands, and I’d love for my outfit to be a little bit of a surprise for you.”  
He nodded, and I pressed a quick kiss to his lips, taking the cap from his hands and putting it on myself as I walked towards the door.  
“See you later!” I called over my shoulder.  
Just before the store’s glass door closed behind me, I had the chance to listen in on the beginning conversation between Samandriel and the sales assistant.  
“Quite a lovely lady you got there. You’re a lucky man.” the assistant commented.  
I nearly melted when I heard Samandriel’s simple reply.  
“I know.”  
  
“You ready?” I nervously called from the bathroom.  
“Of course.”  
Samandriel was already in his tux for the evening, and I could not have been more right when I said he was in capable hands at the store. He looked amazing. I myself had yet to reveal my outfit to him. I took a deep breath and opened the door, stepping forward, my heels leaving the tiled floor of the bathroom and sinking into the carpet a little. He said nothing. I had been so confident when I bough this dress. It was sexy, yet classy. Not too revealing. It hinted more than it actually showed. Basically, apart from being more than suitable for the event tonight, it was also the embodiment of what I hoped would get Samandriel to come out of his shell and make a move. But now, with him silently staring at me, I suddenly felt exposed and vulnerable.  
“Can you please say something?” I asked. “Anything?”  
“I… I would, if I knew the words.” he gulped.  
“That bad, huh?”  
“No, not at all, I-“  
He was interrupted by a knock on our door.  
“That must be Mr. Cunningham.” I mumbled.  
I was almost right. It was our wealthy supporter’s driver. Mr. Cunningham himself was waiting for us in an honest-to-my-boyfriend’s-dad-limousine. We slid into our seats to find him facing us. His brown hair was stylishly spiked and he looked very well in his probably tailor-made tuxedo, but, in my opinion, not nearly as gorgeous as Samandriel.  
“Ah, Miss L/N. Alfie.” he greeted us. We had decided to keep Samandriel’s real name a secret and had defaulted to his old alias.  
“Please, it’s F/N.” I reminded him.  
Samandriel was silent.  
“Very well. I would like to tell you that look particularly stunning tonight, F/N.”  
“Thank you very much, Sir.”  
“If I am to call you F/N, you must call me Jonathan. Or John, if you like.” he said with a wink.  
I could have sworn I felt Samandriel tense beside me.  
  
To all of our relief, the painting was one of the first items to be offered, and Jonathan didn’t even have to spend as much on it as I had feared. Well, it was a rather displeasing sight anyway. After a rather intense discussion about how badly he wanted to take it with him right away, it was eased into the limousine’s trunk and we were on our way to his place. From that point on, everything went even faster. Samandriel and I unloaded the painting, and then all three of us set it on fire. We used a special kind of herb to light the flames with that would ensure that curse would not find another victim.  
Saying goodbye after thanking us for avenging his friend, Jonathan kissed my hand and shook Samandriel’s. Then he ordered his driver to take us back to our motel. He had offered we stay at his house, but that would have felt… unprofessional.  
By my estimation, we were about halfway there when Samandriel suddenly turned towards me, pulled me onto his lap and sealed my lips with a hot, if sloppy, kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this chapter is kind of all over the place. But I really wanted to explore the relationship a little more, and how they support each other, before stripping them naked.
> 
> I hope it still makes sense and isn't too different from the other chapters.


	12. … does Bob Ross have to do with this?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's get physical.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this turned out surprisingly long. Consider it reparations for the wait.

I was breathless by the time he relented.  
“Wow.” I gasped. “What was that?”  
He embraced me, softly, compared to the demanding kiss just seconds ago.  
“I didn’t know how else to tell you.”  
“Tell me?”  
“That I want you. All of you. Your body as well as your heart.”  
“Finally.” I sighed, and he pulled back to look at me, a question in his eyes. “Was it the dress?”  
“No.” he said, tucking a stray strand of hair behind my ear. “I did not nee a piece of clothing to see you. You have been siren-calling to me from the very beginning. This dress just… What happened between us in that closet… I thought there was no way, no situation, no circumstances, in which you could be more beautiful than you did then.” He kissed me softly before continuing. “I was wrong. I should have been the first one to tell you how beautiful you were tonight, not Cunningham. From the moment you stepped into my view earlier, I knew I couldn’t hold back anymore.”  
“You-“ I looked into his eyes, puzzled. “You were holding back?”  
He nodded.  
“Why?”  
A small blush crept onto his cheeks.  
“Because I’ve never…” he trailed off, leaving the unfinished sentence hanging in the air for a moment before starting another. “And I didn’t know how to tell you, didn’t know the words, again, so I just…”  
I cupped his cheeks and kissed him with all the longing I had pent-up within me. Letting my lips slowly travel down his neck, I spoke between kisses.  
“You know, for someone who claims not to know his way around words, you’re doing some pretty smooth talking at times. Like just now. Or when you told me you had feelings for me.” I brought my lips into close proximity with his ear and felt him shiver as I breathed my next words. “You don’t have to worry. We’ll take it slow, and you’ll be amazing.”  
  
When the limousine stopped, I quickly climbed off Samandriel’s lap, lest the driver find us in our rather compromising position. I was pretty sure not every part of my dress was where it was supposed to be, but when he held the door open for us, he pretended not to notice anything, merely accepting our thanks and driving off again like the dutiful employee he seemed to be.  
Excited, and a bit nervous myself, I needed two attempts to unlock our room and usher my angel in ahead of me. I dropped the key and my purse on the table and turned around, finding Samandriel in the middle of the room, his eyes on the floor, fidgeting with the edge of his jacket.  
I was not entirely sure what the best course of action was going to be, since the only experience of this kind I had ever had that involved a virgin had been my own first time. But I figured that, as usual, doing what I already knew we both liked was probably a good idea for starters. I walked over to him and he lifted his gaze to meet mine. Still wearing high heels, I only had to stretch my neck the smallest bit to touch my lips to his. He wound his arms around me and held me close to him. I broke the kiss and leaned up to whisper into his ear again.  
“Why don’t you lose the jacket and sit? On the bed, maybe, leaning against the headboard?”  
He swallowed audibly, but nodded, and did as I had suggested. I waited until he was comfortable and then reached for the zipper worked into the left seam of my dress. It opened easily, and I watched Samandriel watch me, wide-eyed, as I shrugged off the straps and let the fabric fall to the floor, pooling at my feet. Stepping out of it, leaving my shoes behind as well, I walked over to the bed, silently congratulating myself for having thought of stopping by a lingerie shop as well this morning. A black lacy bra and matching panties were the only things I was still wearing now. I climbed onto the bed and straddled Samandriel, with my hands on his shoulders, our position now similar to that in the closet over a month ago.  
“I didn’t mean to boss you around just now.” I explained. “I just figured-“ I undid his bow-tie as I continued “-that, since you held me like this before, it would be a good place to start.” His bow-tie discarded, I moved on to undoing the first three buttons on his dress shirt. “Now, please, touch me.”  
“I… I don’t know…” he hesitated.  
With a smile, I let his shirt be and took his hands to place them on my hips. His fingers flexed when they made contact with my naked flesh.  
“Just start here. Do what feels natural.” I said and pulled him in for a kiss, fuelled by desire.  
It took some time, but slowly, he began to gain a little confidence. His hands glid across my almost bare upper body, worshipping, caressing, and I let my head fall back, eyes closed, just enjoying his simple, yet intoxicating touches.  
“Samandriel…” I sighed, and his hands left my skin, much to my disappointment.  
My head snapped back and I opened my eyes to look at him.  
“Why did you stop?”  
“I thought… I thought you didn’t…” he stammered, stopping himself there.  
“What? That I didn’t like it?”  
He nodded, his face turning bright red.  
“I liked it.” I told him, reaching to rest a hand on his hot cheek as I leaned in to kiss him softly. “It felt very, very good.”  
“Forgive me, I… I just don’t want to make a mistake.”  
“Hey…” I breathed against his lips. “There’s nothing to forgive. I understand. You’re nervous, and that’s okay. Let me tell you something I learned from a very wise man.”  
He looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to continue speaking.  
“We don’t make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.”  
It was a tiny change in his expression, but he smiled at my words.  
“And you think that’s true?”  
“In most situations. I wouldn’t apply the sentiment while on a hunt, but here, …” I placed my hand on the part of his chest I had already uncovered and he gasped at the contact. “… here, it’s definitely true. If you were to ever touch me in a way I did not approve of, I’d let you know, and suggest a better way for you to try. But I doubt that will be necessary. I can’t imagine not enjoying a touch of yours.”  
Another kiss seemed sufficient to make him believe my words. One hand, he now placed on my waist, the other resuming its journey across my skin. While Samandriel memorized every dip and curve of me, every place he could touch to elicit a sigh, or a moan, I let my lips separate from his, trailing feather light kisses over his cheek, down his smooth neck, and along his collarbone, my fingers making quick work of those buttons on his shirt I had not yet dealt with.  
The last button undone, I pulled the material of my angel’s shoulders and he withdrew his hands from me, just long enough to get rid of the shirt, resuming his exploration of me right away, and I began to do the same to him. When he leaned forward and began to place soft kisses on my breasts, just along the edges of my bra’s lace, I hummed in surprised delight, and he stopped immediately.  
“Don’t stop.” I pleaded. “I love it.”  
As the words left my lips, I realized I had never told him I loved him. Not that I didn’t, but somehow, it had just never come up, the need to use those three words. Now, however, I felt the sudden urge to let him know. As he went to continue his ministrations, I stopped him. A finger under his chin, I guided him up until his eyes met mine. A look of confusion mixed with worry washed over him, but dispersed again quickly when he saw my warm smile.  
“What is it?” he asked, his voice raw and desire in his eyes.  
“I just realized there is something I have not yet told you, and I want you to know before we do this.”  
He tilted his head and just looked at me, waiting.  
“I love you.”  
The change in him was instantaneous. He went to kiss me in a way he never had before, and it made me feel the fire of passion burning not only his insides, but mine as well. His lips trailed down my neck the way mine had his, and I could hear him murmur in Enochian every now and then. I didn’t know a word of Enochian, never had, but my heart just knew that what he said was that he loved me as well.  
Any doubts, fears or reluctance he might still have felt only a few moments ago were gone, and with little trouble and without any hesitation, he unhooked my bra and pulled it off me, his lips continuing their path from my collarbone further down my chest, all the way to one of my nipples. He gently sucked on it, flicked his tongue over it, even carefully scraped his teeth against the sensitive skin. I let my head fall back once more and did not even try to refrain from moaning. Similar to our encounter in the closet, instinct seemed to have taken over. He just knew what I needed. What I wanted. What made my body tick and sent my senses into overdrive.  
For a little while, I was just thriving in the sensations created as he finally let go, but there came a point when I wanted more. More than his touch. More than his lips on my body. I pulled him into a breathless kiss and let my hand wander down his torso again, to the button and zipper of his trousers. Once undone, they were gone in a flash, right along with his boxers. He was kissing my neck again, but when my fingertips traveled softly along his length before wrapping around him and beginning to pump him slowly, his forehead fell to rest on my shoulder and he groaned.  
“You okay?” I asked, just to be sure, my voice no more than a whisper as his fingers dug into my hips.  
“Yes.” he forced out in reply. “Just need a moment.”  
“Do you want me to stop?”  
“No!” he snapped, coming back to look at me and capture me in a rough kiss. “Don’t stop. Whatever else you do, don’t stop.” he was practically begging.  
I merely blinked and found myself lying back on the bed,  my hand still moving on him, the other on his back. Samandriel was above me, supporting himself with one arm, the other hand roaming my body, further and further down.  
“Did you just mojo us into a different position?” I asked.  
My voice rose a few pitches at the end when his nimble fingers reached the, as I dimly realized, now uncovered, center of my desire.  
“I did.” he confirmed, licking his lips.  
The simple motion turned me on even more.  
“That’s…” I started, but was unable to finish as a wanton moan clawed its way out of my throat, caused by his fingers on me, applying sweet pressure on the delicate pearl of my need in just the right way.  
Without my realizing, my hand on him sped up its movement, the nails of the other digging into his shoulder. He just kept working his figurative magic on me, as I did mine on him.  
“Is this alright?” he asked with just the tiniest hint of worry.  
My back arched off the bed in proclamation of my slowly, but surely, nearing orgasm.  
“Alright?” I breathlessly countered his question. “Are you - Oh, sweet loving mother of mercy! – No, it’s not alright.” He faltered, but resumed right away when I continued. “It’s positively glorious.”  
All that pleasure coursing through me, all that we were giving one another, all that we were taking, and still, I wanted more. I laid my hand against the back of his neck and crashed our lips together.  
“You want to get to the fun part?” I whispered against him, with barely enough control over my vocal chords.  
“I don’t know… I’m having… quite some… fun… as it is…” he gasped out between kisses, causing me to smirk up at him.  
“Oh, believe me, there’s more.”  
I took my hand off him and used it to withdraw his from my core. A small whimper escaped each of us at the loss of the intimate contact. Nudging his hip with my knee, it took only a second until he was perfectly positioned. I then lifted my own hips off the sheets and he entered me, only a little. He had the basics down and began rocking into me, slowly, back and forth, a bit deeper each time. Moans sounded around us, inside us, followed by long, content sighs when he was finally fully within me, instinct once more helping him out and causing him to halt, giving me a few moments to get used to his presence.  
He could have given me half as much time, and I would have been more than ready. I shifted, prompting him to start moving again. And move he did.  
His thrusts were slow, calculated. Precise without him being even aware of it. My nails scratched against the fine, but very much present, musculature under the milky, smooth skin of his back while his lips peppered my neck and chest with kisses, my own all the while spilling his name, again and again, a desperate prayer to no one in particular. To him. To anyone who would listen. His movements within me, and mine against him, began to gain speed, to build up momentum, more and more. The kisses he rained on my skin first grew interspersed with, then got replaced by, small love bites. My nails still repeatedly scraped down his back, deeper now, leaving marks. Every time I tried to anchor them on his shoulders, I just ended up running my hands down him again anyway. There were moans and sighs, needy whimpers, pleasured groans.  
I did not know, nor did I care, how long we were like this. Everything within us just kept building up, like floodwaters against a dam. It could have been moments. Minutes. Hours. Days, even, and I would not have noticed. Eventually, however, the point came where we both knew that what we were chasing was oh so close. The coil somewhere in my gut was wound tight as never before. He lost the pace he had so minutely been keeping. He was just as close as I was.  
When the dam of our mutual determination to keep this going for as long as possible simply could not hold anymore, we both gave in and let our climaxes crash down on us in unison. His face hidden in the crook of my neck, a soundless cry on my lips, every conscious movement was halted and we were frozen still for a while as pure bliss coursed through us.  
It was when I felt Samandriel’s lips softly against mine that I came back to. He was still above me, and even though he was not within my core any longer, I still felt as if he was. I could feel his warmth within me, the pressure of his body against mine. Out of breath, our minds still in a daze, hazy with pleasure, we broke the kiss and he moved to lie by my side, facing me.  
His eyes were closed, but I did not want to close mine. I pulled the sheets up to cover us, my gaze never leaving Samandriel. I just couldn’t get enough of the look on his face. Like happiness incarnate. It made the last waves of my slowly dissipating high feel even better.  
As if waking up, he opened first one eye and then, when he found me looking at him with a soft smile on my lips, the other.  
“How was that?” he asked, a bit uncertainly.  
I shook my head with a chuckle before kissing him. Beneath the covers, he reached around to the small of my back with one hand and pulled my body flush to his, my hands coming to rest on his chest. It was a long and lovely kiss, the kind one can feel all the way into the tips of their toes.  
“Told you you’d be amazing.” I murmured before slowly drifting off to sleep in the safety and bliss of his embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beware, there's only one, maximum two more chapters to come, so enjoy it while it lasts.
> 
> Original Imagine: http://dirtysupernaturalimagines.tumblr.com/post/105558342279/source


	13. … is happening?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When angels are falling, who you gonna call?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is the second-to-last chapter, I hope y'all will enjoy it.

From that night onwards, there really was no more holding back for either of us. And why would there be. We were just happy together for months, so happy we almost forgot that Samandriel was probably still being looked for. But, as these things always go, something just had to happen that ripped us from our easy routine of dividing our time between hunting and being madly in love with each other.  
  
I was just done drying Samandriel’s hair and leaned up to kiss him softly, but before our lips could even begin to touch his whole posture changed. His body went rigid, and his face went from a content, happy expression to an agitated, nervous one.  
“What’s wrong? I asked, instantly worried.  
Samandriel didn’t reply. He just shoved past me, not too roughly, opened the door and walked out into the night. I followed him silently and stood next to him as he stared up into the dark expanse of the sky above us. Plentiful fiery shapes overpowered the light of the stars as they neared the earth at rapid speed. At first, I thought of shooting stars, but there were way too many.  
We stood in silence for a while, until I felt an unseen force push me closer to Samandriel. I was already in the flannel pajama bottoms and tank top I wore to bed, and I could feel something soft and warm brush against my bare arms as he held me close to his side. The sensation felt almost like-  
“Feathers? Samandriel, are these your wings?” I asked.  
He nodded without tearing his eyes away from the sky.  
“I’m sorry. I wanted you to first feel the touch of my wings in a moment of love and tenderness, not fear and sadness.”  
“Fear and sadness? What’s-“ It clicked. “These are falling angels, aren’t they?”  
“Yes.”  
“And… your wings?”  
“I wanted to hold you, not only in my arms, but in the embrace of my wings, at least once, and I am running out of time. I can already feel them withering away.”  
“Withering away? What’s going on? Why are these angels falling?” I asked, more than just uneasy by now.  
“I do not know why this is happening, but I know that the ones we can see are not the only angels falling.” he replied in a monotone.  
“How many?”  
“All of them.”  
  
We stood there like that for a long time. Although I was quite warm and cozy, all wrapped up in Samandriel’s arms and wings as I was, I felt like we should move once the last angelic torch had disappeared from sight, so I laid my hands on his cheeks and brought his gaze to me.  
“Come on, sweetheart, let’s go inside.” I whispered.  
He just nodded and followed in my steps, holding on tightly to my hand. Once the door fell shut behind us, he pulled me into a long embrace, hiding his face in the crook of my neck. He didn’t cry. I wasn’t even sure angels could cry. Be that as it may, I held him until he pulled away of his own accord, carding my fingers through his short hair as his wings surrounded me once more. I could not see them, but I felt the safety they provided, and the soft brush of feathers against my skin.  
“Do you want to talk about it now? Or sleep on it first?”  
“I don’t think I could sleep, but you should try to. I’ll see what I can pick up on the celestial frequencies. Maybe I can find some answers.”  
“Okay. Whatever you want.” I acquiesced.  
We crawled into bed together and he held me close once more, my head on his chest and his arms around me. It took me quite long before I finally fell asleep, a sort of plan already forming in my mind. Well, not much of a plan. More a possible course of action.  
  
“How are you?” was the first thing I asked Samandriel when I woke up in the morning.  
He was still holding me, holding on to me, as if I was his anchor. I felt him shrug in reply.  
“Did you catch anything useful on angel radio?”  
“No. Only fear. They’re all so scared. So confused. So lost. As am I.”  
“You’re not lost.” I told him sternly, shifting to look at him. “You’re right here, with me, and I love you. And we will find out what’s going on, and how to fix it.”  
“How?” he asked.  
“Well, sweetheart… That’s the thing. I have a feeling that… that the boys might know something. I could call them, but only if you agree. Dean said he’d call when it’s safe, but he hasn’t. So either it’s not safe, or they’re neck deep in some other crap and don’t want to get us involved. Or all of the above, which seems the most likely option.”  
“Do you miss them?” was not the kind of reply I had been expecting.  
“That’s not what this is about.”  
“I know. But do you?” he asked again, stroking my back.  
“Of course. They’re my friends.”  
“And you think they can help?”  
I nodded.  
“Then call them.”  
“Are you sure? We don’t know how Cas is.”  
“Call them.” he repeated.  
We sat up in bed and I reached for my phone on the nightstand to dial Dean’s number. He didn’t answer. It wasn’t that unusual, so I left a short message about what we had seen and asking him to call me back as soon as possible.  
  
We went out for breakfast and returned to the motel two hours later, and Dean still hadn’t called back. I tried to reach him or Sam several more times, but still had no luck. Not even Garth answered his phone when I tried. Come to think of it, I had not spoken to him in weeks.  
Some time in he late afternoon, inspiration finally hit me and I dialed the last number that could potentially be useful in that situation. It rang a few times before he picked up.  
“F/N.” his voice was frantic.  
“Kevin. You can’t imagine how happy I am to finally speak to someone. Sam, Dean, even Garth. None of them would answer or even call back. Where are they?”


	14. … do we want in Kansas?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Samandriel reconnect with the boys, and Crowley gets a taste of what he deserves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will not, as originally intended, be the last chapter. One more is to come. But that will be it. I swear to Chuck.

“Garth disappeared months ago.” Kevin said, and I swallowed hard at the possible implications of that.  
“Sam and Dean?” I asked.  
“I don’t know. They left to do… something… a few days ago, and I haven’t heard from them since.”  
“Where are you?”  
“Sam and Dean found this place… It’s pretty amazing, actually, but last night, everything just went on lockdown, and now I’m afraid to even look outside because I have no clue what’s going on.”  
“The angels fell last night.”  
“WHAT?!?” he shouted, causing me to flinch.  
“The angels fell. All of them.” I repeated.  
“How do you know?”  
“Apart from the fact that I saw it with my own eyes? Samandriel told me.”  
Kevin was silent for a moment, before asking another question.  
“He’s still with you? How is he?”  
“He’s…” I looked at Samandriel, who was fidgeting with the collar of his shirt and looking out the window, but definitely listening. “He’s fine, all things considered. What about Cas?”  
“Apparently that Naomi-person you warned Dean about was controlling him somehow. He nearly killed Dean because of her and-“  
“What? What happened? Is Dean okay?” I interrupted him, shocked.  
“Last that I saw him.”  
I took a deep breath to calm myself down.  
“Okay. You know what? How about you give me some directions, I meet you at the boy’s place, and you tell me everything else then?”  
“I… I mean, it’s not that I don’t trust you, F/N, but I’m not sure I’m free to tell you…”  
I could understand his concerns, even though I doubted that the boys would keep the location of their Batcave from me.  
“Then tell me which state, and we’ll just hope the boys show up soon.” I tried to compromise.  
“I guess that’s okay. Kansas. You gotta get to Kansas.”  
“Thanks, Kevin. I hope I’ll see you soon.”  
“Me too.”  
We hung up and I joined Samandriel, who was now watching me intently. I sat down next to him and took one of his hands in both of mine.  
“You knew Naomi was controlling Cas?” I asked quietly.  
He nodded.  
“I’m sorry. I should have told you. At some point, at least.”  
“I think I can forgive you. He snapped out of it.” I didn’t feel the need to mention that, prior to that, he had almost killed his best friend. “Now, let’s pack our bags. We’re going to Kansas.”  
  
Seriously, though. Why did it always have to be Kansas? Not that I had a problem with the state in and of itself, but for some reason, every significant location in the boy’s lives always seemed to end up being located in Kansas. I simply found that… odd, to put it mildly.  
Be that as it may, we were now on our way to that exact state, as we had been for the past two days. Well, one and a half days. In fact, I was just pulling over at a gas station about an hour from the Kansas state line when my phone rang. When I saw the caller ID, I sighed in relief.  
“Dean. Are you okay? Is Sam alright?”  
“F/N.” I could hear him smile, but he still sounded weary. “We’re okay. We’re alive. I’m sorry I didn’t answer your calls. It was a very busy few days. Kevin told us you want to come over to the bunker.”  
“Yeah, we’d like to catch up with you guys. But Kevin was unsure if you’d be okay with him revealing your secret lair’s location.”  
“We? You’re still with- you know what, never mind. You can tell me all about it later. You and Alfie are very welcome here.”  
“Good to know.”  
He gave me specifics about where exactly we needed to go, and I told him we’d be there by the next afternoon. I wasn’t going to drive through the night.  
  
We made it to ‘the bunker’ by about 4 pm the next day. I called Dean when we got out of the car by what he had called the ‘front door’, and he said he’d let us in right away. As we waited, I looked over at Samandriel.  
“You ready?” I asked, although this was nothing one needed to be particularly ready for.  
“Yes, of course.” he murmured sadly.  
“Hey.” I pulled him into my arms and held him tight. “I told you. We’ll find out what’s going on, and at least do our best to help with fixing this.”  
“I know.” he mumbled into my hair, his breath hot on my neck, and his arms wrapped tightly around me.  
Suddenly, the door opened with a sound that went straight to my bones. We jumped apart an Dean peeked around the door.  
“Hey, guys, come on in.”  
We entered and followed him down the stairs, where Sam was waiting. Dean turned around for a proper greeting, which essentially meant that he pulled me into a giant hug before passing me on to Sam for the same procedure and shaking hands with Samandriel.  
Kevin joined us as we went to sit down in what they referred to as the library and caught each other up on what had been going on in the past few months. I left out how far my relationship with the angel next to me had developed, though. During the conversation, my suspicion was confirmed that they had not called with an update because they were both unsure whether it would actually be safe, and busy dealing with one crap sandwich after the other. By the time everyone was done talking, it was quite late, and we were getting tired. Samandriel had gotten fidgety when the boys mentioned that Crowley was in the dungeon this place seemed to have, at which my anger towards the King of Hell had flared up anew. When Sam offered to show us to the rooms they had prepared for us to freshen up and catch up on some sleep if we wanted, I excused myself and asked Dean to show me to the dungeon instead. He raised an eyebrow at the request, but indulged me nonetheless.  
  
Dean smirked when I turned to walk towards him and we exited the dungeon together.  
Crowley had greeted me with a smug expression, which quickly gave way to something else entirely, a fact Dean apparently found hilarious. As we were walking away, having closed the door behind us, he fixed me with a questioning gaze.  
“So… You and Alfie? How did that happen?” he asked.  
I felt myself blush, but refused to look away.  
“How did you know?”  
Dean grinned.  
“Apart from your little display with Crowley just now? I saw the way you two were hugging it out when you arrived.”  
“Oh. Well… I’m not sure how it happened. It just did.” I answered his question honestly.  
“I’m happy for you.”  
“Really?”  
“Of course. I mean, I can’t entirely understand it, with him being an angel and all that, but if it’s what you want.”  
“It is. He is.” I said, relieved that my friend supported me.  
“I feel like there’s a ‘but’ coming.” Dean noted.  
He was right.  
“But… The last few days it’s been difficult. Since he saw his brothers and sisters fall, he’s been… not distant, exactly. But quiet. It kind of scares me, because I don’t know what to do. I’m not even sure that there’s something I can do.”  
Dean reassuringly nudged my shoulder.  
“Don’t worry too much about that. Of course he’s quiet. His world just kind of fell apart. It’ll get easier. In time. And if he loves you the way I think he does… well, then he knows you’re there for him.”  
As we were talking, we had reached the room the boys had intended for me and where Sam had taken my duffel while Dean showed me to the dungeon. Without a word, the older Winchester retrieved the bag and led me two doors further, to Samandriel’s room, where he handed me my duffel and gave me a wink. I stood on tiptoes to kiss his cheek before turning and entering the room.  
  
Samandriel sat on the edge of an approximately queen sized bed, looking down at his hands in his lap.  
“Hey, frowny-face!” I tried to sound cheerful.  
“I wasn’t sure you’d come.” he said.  
“Why would I not?”  
“You didn’t tell them about… us.” he hesitated, looking up at me.  
“Neither did you. I didn’t mention it, because it’s none of their business. But Dean figured us out anyway. Not really surprising after what happened with Crowley.”  
“What happened with Crowley?” he asked, furrowing his brow. “What did he say?”  
I sat down next to him before answering.  
“I did not exactly give him a chance to say much of anything. Neither before nor after I punched him in the face.”  
“You what?”  
“Think I broke his nose, too.” I said, grinning to myself. “He deserves more than that for what he did to you.”  
Samandriel reached for my hand and pressed a kiss to my knuckles.  
“I’m sorry I doubted you. And that I’ve not really talked to you these last days.”  
I softly smiled at him.  
“You have a lot on your mind.” I acknowledged. “Now, I’ll go take a shower. Would you like to join me?”  
“I… No, not today.”  
“Alright. I’ll be right back.”  
  
I didn’t think it would be much of an issue, so I returned from my shower with my clothes in hand, a towel wrapped around me, hurrying through the hallway in my flip flops. Just in front of our door, I crouched down for a second to pick up a large feather of the purest white I had ever seen.  
“Is this yours?” I asked Samandriel as I entered.  
He gave the feather a brief glance and nodded.  
“How… how are your wings?”  
I closed the distance to where he was still sitting on the bed, looking up at me with sad eyes. He took a hand of mine and held it against his cheek. With the other, he reached for my waist and pulled me down to straddle his lap, making me drop the feather and my clothes in the process.  
“They’re… slowly losing substance. That feather-“ he nodded towards it. “-is only the first to drop. While I have not fallen literally, I will still have to deal with nearly the same effects. Mainly the loss of my wings.”  
“Oh. I was hoping…”  
“What?”  
“I was hoping that maybe… that I could touch them.”  
“Of course you can.” he said, his eyes a little brighter.  
“But… won’t that hurt you?” I asked cautiously.  
He smiled, both hands now on my hips.  
“No. My wings may be slowly failing, but they do not hurt. Not physically. And I want you to feel them. To touch them. I just didn’t think to ask, since it’s something very…”  
“Intimate?” I suggested, and instead of answering, he kissed me softly.  
A few moments later, he broke the kiss and leaned his forehead against mine.  
“It’s a pity, really.” I whispered. “That I can’t see your wings, I mean.”  
“Yes. But that is something out of my power. They are part of my true form, and even in this shape, even with only my wings revealed, seeing my true form could mean your death. I may be able to let you see their shadow, but no more.” he explained.  
“Hm… Maybe another time. Now, I would like to feel them. touch them.” I said lowly, adding “And the rest of you as well.”  
He nodded again at my words, and I pulled his shirt over his head before kissing him, letting my hands wander across his chest. He, in turn, let his hands start at my knees, travelling up my thighs, disappearing under the towel to caress my sides.  
My hands slowly made their way to his shoulders and I heard a whisper resound in the room, the air moving slightly more than before, and my fingertips met with the same warmth and softness I had previously only felt brushing my arms. I opened my eyes, just to check, but saw nothing. Still, I knew his wings were there. I could feel them. I hesitated and broke the kiss.  
“And you say they don’t hurt? You’re sure?”  
“Absolutely.” he replied with a smile. “May I…” he gestured to the towel and I nodded , biting my lip.  
He ripped the offending bit of fabric off my body and threw it aside, his lips lowering to pepper my chest with soft kisses. Still worrying my lip between my teeth, I sighed at what he made me feel and then slowly buried my hands in the invisible softness of his wings. He stopped kissing my breasts, and I noticed that he held his breath. The large feathers I was tracing were trembling slightly beneath my fingertips and Samandriel rested his head against my chest.  
“You alright?” I asked breathily.  
“Yes. Please-“ he pressed his hands flat onto my back, bringing our bodies closer together, the increased friction against my core unmistakable. “-please, don’t stop.”  
“Is this turning you on?” I asked, slightly surprised.  
“It is.” he admitted sheepishly.  
I had to confess, I found the whole thing extremely arousing as well. My naked body was there for him to do with as he pleased while my hands still explored the vulnerability that was his wings.  
At the top, the feathers felt short and fluffy, like down, but the further below that I let my fingers glide, the larger the feathers got, and the smoother their surface felt. The largest ones appeared to be almost liquid to my touch, their fibers bending and surrounding my fingers as they passed. Again and again I stroked the feathers, from top to bottom and as far out as my arms would reach, Samandriel’s hands in the meantime travelling my body as he kissed my neck, exploring every dip and curve of me as if he had not done it a hundred times already. He always did that, and it always drove me wild.  
“Samandriel…” I breathed, feeling the sweet pressure on my core as I rolled my hips against the denim-clad proof of his arousal.  
He pulled away from my neck to look me in the eyes.  
“My love?”  
“Is there a way for you to completely undress without us having to separate?”  
He gave me a surprisingly wicked little smirk and next I knew, I felt only skin beneath me instead of denim, his tip pressing against me in just the right spot. His hands fell to my hips and his fingers dug into my flesh as he guided me down, slowly taking him in, both of us breathing a lengthy moan of satisfaction. He did not complain when my hands fisted into his wings, gripping the invisible feathers tight. In fact, his expression told me he reveled in the sensation.  
The moans and sighs our complimenting movements elicited from Samandriel as well as me were swallowed up by passionate kisses as the chilled air caused goose bumps on my heated skin. A familiar knot was quickly forming in my stomach, tightening rapidly. I heard another whisper and felt the air shift around us again, just before I felt the feathers of my angel’s wings all over my bare skin, brushing softly, enveloping me in their warmth, yet sending shivers up and down my spine as they caressed my body.  
By the way his hands moved all over me and his nails scraped against my skin, always followed by a feather whispering soft kisses over the red scratches, I could tell he was nearing his climax just as quickly as I was. I broke the connection of our lips and went on to leave a few marks on his neck as he repeatedly whispered my name while leaving kisses along mine.  
Samandriel stilled completely when he reached the peak, his nails marking my thighs with angry red half-moon shapes as they sank into the flesh there, but I did not cease my movements. As I helped him draw out his climax, I reached my own in the process, my hands clutching at the tops of his wings, my teeth sinking into his shoulder to silence the sound of my release as I tightened around him.  
A few lazy strokes later, all energy had left us, the physical connection ended, but still felt, and we slowly moved to lie on the bed, our bodies still trembling with aftershocks. The cool air did not bother me in the least. Not while I felt Samandriel’s feathers still trailing over my skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to take a somewhat different approach to the whole wing-thing. I'm fine when I read somebody else's stuff and they discribe how the reader can see an angel's wings for whatever reason, but I figured that since we never get to see the actual wings in the show, I could work with that.
> 
> The exception is the one lonely feather that we find in the hallway, which does not count anymore, since it's separated from the angel it belonged to.
> 
> Make sense?


	15. ... comes next?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You wrap things up and start on a new path... Sort of...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This IS the last chapter, folks. I hope it satisfies.

We stayed with the boys for a few days without any major occurrences, until they got an out-of-the-blue lead on Cas. All four of us decided it would be best if the boys went to get him without us, so we were left in the bunker with Kevin, and I took it upon myself to make sure he ate something, which I had hardly seen him do since our arrival.  
While I was busy cooking as a result, Samandriel stood behind me, his arms around my waist and his chin resting on my shoulder. He seemed to be a little better.  
“Love, I need to move a bit more freely here.” I pointed out.  
The weight left my shoulder and he loosened his grip, so I turned around in his arms and pecked his lips.  
“What’s on your mind? Besides hoping Cas doesn’t try to kill you again?”  
“I have noticed something… about Sam.” he began slowly.  
“Yeah? What’s that?”  
“I’m not sure. His presence feels… unusual. I’m still not back at full power yet, so I can’t pinpoint exactly what, but something is… off about him. It almost feels like another person is there as well.”  
“You mean like he’s possessed?” I asked, my eyes widening.  
“I suppose so. But I’m not sure.”  
“Okay.” I took a deep breath. “I’ll talk to Dean about it. Maybe he can clear this up. Let’s not jump to conclusions yet.”  
He nodded and kissed me before letting me go back to my task.  
  
When Sam and Dean returned with Cas in tow, Kevin was cooped up in his room while Samandriel and I waited for them in the library. Dean had called ahead to let us in on the basics, so we were warned that Cas was human, but we also knew that Naomi was dead and Samandriel therefore comparatively safe.  
“Cas.” I whispered when he came into view.  
The currently-not-angel looked up, saw me and Samandriel, and gave us a reluctant smile.  
“Are you okay, Cas?”  
“Yes, I am well, F/N. And… I would like to thank you.”  
Sam and Dean were busy putting their weapons away and pretending not to see and hear us as I drew Cas in for a hug. He looked like he’d been through hell. Again.  
“What for?” I asked.  
“Samandriel.” Cas stated, looking at him. “I’m sorry for what I tried to do, brother. And very glad F/N was there to stop me. It was-“  
“Naomi.” Samandriel interrupted him. “I know.”  
Cas nodded.  
“How have you been, brother?” Cas asked then, and I walked off to let them have a chat while I did the same.  
“Dean.” I said as I approached him. “Can we talk? Alone? It’s… personal.”  
I did not like the little lie, but felt it was necessary. If these suspicions dissolved into nothing, I didn’t want Sam to think I didn’t trust him.  
“Sure.” Dean agreed and we took a walk towards the kitchen to grab a beer.  
“Listen, Dean…” I began when I was sure we were out of Sam’s earshot. “… Samandriel told me he had a funky feeling about Sam. That something was off with him. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that?”  
Dean’s face got all twisted, as if he was in pain.  
“I.. I can’t tell you that.”  
“Then explain around it.”  
“I… okay. After stopping the third trial, Sammy was… it was bad. Real bad. He was gonna die, and I did something. Something he wouldn’t like if he knew. He’d stop it if he found out, and still die. So please, trust me on this. I can’t have him die on me. Don’t tell him anything. Please.”  
I sighed, not happy about this at all. But Dean radiated desperation.  
“Alright. I won’t tell him. But then, we won’t be here much longer either.  
“Why not?”  
“Well, we got talking while you were gone, and we figured that, until we know more about how all this might be fixed, it would be a good idea if we track down as many of these fallen angels as we can and help them settle in. Be as inconspicuous as possible. We were thinking of leaving tomorrow morning.”  
“Are you sure?” Dean asked with a hint of worry.  
“Yeah. Kevin already helped us draw up a map with what he remembers from when that Map-Table of yours lit up like a Christmas tree. And Samandriel doesn’t feel too comfortable about the whole Sam-thing, so we think it’s best like this.”  
“Alright, then.” Dean nodded. “You know we’re gonna miss you, right?”  
  
“You got everything?” I asked, and Cas nodded in agreement.  
I do not have much to take with me as it is. Only what I arrived with.” he pointed out before saying his goodbyes to the brothers and then climbing into the backseat of my car.  
He had knocked on our door in the middle of the night and asked to come with us. He’d said he had to leave in order to not bring hordes of angels down on the boys. Of course I did not deny his request, although I thought it was odd that he’d leave again so soon.  
Samandriel had already parted from the brothers and was waiting in the passenger seat.  
“Guys, do me a favor and stop almost dying every time I turn around.” I mumbled into Sam’s shoulder as I hugged him goodbye.  
“Can’t promise that.” he retorted.  
“Don’t be a stranger.” Dean said when it was his turn.  
“You better take your own advice there, Winchester. Don’t forget how to use a phone. And keep us posted about anything you find out about this whole Heaven-mess. We’ll do the same.”  
“We will.” he promised.  
Kevin sounded a little choked up when he told me he’d miss me, and I was admittedly a little saddened myself by the sight of the three of them getting smaller and smaller in my rearview mirror.  
  
“He’ll be fine.” Samandriel reassured me.  
He had the map of the angel-clusters in his lap and we were leaving a little town behind us after two days of making basic arrangements for Cas. Luckily, we had quickly managed to find him a job at a Gas’n’Sip as well as a tiny, but clean and furnished apartment. Since Samandriel still didn’t have his full juice back and couldn’t mark his ribs as a result, I’d also made him a bracelet similar to the one Samandriel still wore.  
“I hope so.” I sighed.  
“He has been human before, be it ever so briefly. He’ll be better off than all of these lost angels out there. And he can call us or the Winchesters any time. He knows that. I told him to pray to me if it’s urgent.”  
I smiled at that.  
“What would I do without you?”  
“Probably have a much more normal and safe relationship.”  
Now, I scoffed.  
“More like no relationship at all. You know I love you, right?”  
“As surely as I love you.”  
“Good.” I said, reaching for his hand with my own. “So where do we need to go next?”

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment. You know how instant gratification works. (Constructive criticism is much appreciated, too, though.)
> 
> Any requests? Give me a heads up, I'll look into it. No promises made.
> 
> Just shoot me an ask on my tumblr: http://catsoftheapocalypse.tumblr.com  
> Or use the comments here.  
> Up to you.


End file.
